we'll give the world to you
by ohmytheon
Summary: (Post-Canon) While Roy deals with the stresses of being Fuhrer, he and Riza watch as their son Aidan grows up closely alongside Havoc and Rebecca's two children, Bran and Ally, not to mention Edward and Winry's rowdy bunch. The future is brighter than any of them could have ever hoped, but not without its obstacles. The normalcy almost seems strange after what they've gone through.
1. reliable with the ladies

**Author's Notes:** Listen. I just meant to reply an anon question on tumblr, but it sort of turned into an accidental prompt? The question asked me to consider Roy's and Edward's reactions to Aidan asking one of Edward's kids out on a date. I started to think about it and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to write it and then I remembered how stupidsexymustang and I were talking about writing a series about Aidan and Rebecca and Havoc's kids since we have a bajillion headcanons about them – and then this happened. It was supposed to be one scene. How did it end up like this? At least I'm keeping these organized. They won't be in chronological order, but better than random one-shots.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or any of the characters. The credit for the Havolina kids, Bran and Ally, goes all to **stupidsexymustang** ; they are her brain children and I adore them. Aidan is mine, but besides that, I own nothing.

 **Chapter Summary:** Aidan's first dance is coming up, something he's not too excited about. According to Roy, his best chances of getting out of having to dance with girls is to bring a date to the dance. But who is he supposed to ask anyways?

* * *

 **we'll give the world to you**  
 _reliable with the ladies_

* * *

Riza knew that something was up the moment her son laid a folded piece of paper on the table and stood silent as could be with his eyes averted to the ground. Aidan was naturally a quiet kid, something he'd obviously inherited from her since Roy could ramble on for hours, but he was at least open with her. Whenever he couldn't meet her eyes or became fidgety, as he was now shifting on his feet, she knew that something was wrong.

Cautiously picking up the paper, she wondered if perhaps he'd gotten in trouble at school. It didn't happen often, not unless he allowed Rebecca's children to drag him into something, but it had happened. Riza snuck one last glance at Aidan, who was determinedly staring at his shoes, before flicking open the paper and reading it.

"Oh," was the only thing to come out of her mouth.

Aidan's cheeks flooded bright red.

Roy peered into the kitchen as he fixed the lapels of his uniform. "What's in the letter?" He complained all the time that there was so much more to the uniform now that he was the Fuhrer, but it never stopped him from looking good, even now that he was in his late forties. It hit her while reading this letter just how old she was. Her son - their son - was growing up. "Don't tell me he let Ally convince him to pull another prank."

Riza looked up to her husband, an amused look on her face. "No, it's a letter from his school about the homecoming dance next weekend."

"Homecoming dance?" Roy stepped fully into the room and fixed his son with a look. "If it's next week, why is this the first time we're hearing about it?" Aidan shrugged his shoulders, definitely avoiding looking at his parents now, his face still flushed. The poor boy was embarrassed. He had avoided telling them about it, most likely with the hope of avoiding the whole thing. He hated fancy events about as much as Roy did. "This is your first dance! You should be excited. We'll go find you a nice suit tomorrow night. Luckily my sister Claire works at a nice shop too. Not to mention you'll probably be the only boy that can dance. Every girl will be lining up to dance with you."

"I don't want to dance with every girl," Aidan mumbled in a rush of words, clearly horrified by the prospect of being forced to dance all night long with the girls from his class. Riza couldn't help but smile at that. He was a lot more like her in that respect (honestly in many more respects), but that seemed to confuse Roy. Why wouldn't Aidan want to be the center of attention for a bunch of girls? The truth was Aidan didn't like the limelight and never had; going from nobody to the Fuhrer's son had been a struggle in itself.

And it only got worse as he got older.

Roy tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Well, there's one way you can ensure that no one will dance with you."

That caught Aidan's attention. He looked up sharply to his father, his dark eyes shining with curiosity and maybe a hint of desperation. "How?" Hopefulness blossomed on his face, to the point where he missed the fact that a sneaky grin was working its way onto Roy's face. Oh, Aidan, so lost in his own attempt to get out of this whole thing, he didn't know what that look meant, not like Riza did.

"You get yourself a date," Roy said, ruffling his son's already messy hair. "You bring a date with you, dance with them all night, and you've effectively got yourself a shield."

Aidan's jaw dropped, all hope dashed from his face. "A date?"

"You should count yourself lucky," Roy pointed out as he returned to fixing his uniform. "I'm the Fuhrer and bring your mother to events as my date and I'm still forced to dance with every woman that asks me."

Leaning over to kiss Riza on the lips, he winked at them and then strode out of the room, leaving Riza sighing and Aidan staring off into the distance. Whatever he saw in the not-so distant future, it didn't look good. A distraught expression was captured on his face as he tried to think of a way to get of this. She could see his mind working overtime the same way that Roy's did. Whenever he did get in trouble with Bran and Ally, Havoc and Rebecca's two kids, he was always the one that managed to get them out of hot water usually.

However, it appeared as if he couldn't find one. He could tell Riza that he didn't want to go. She would never force him to go. But he could also tell that Roy was genuinely excited about Aidan having his first dance. If there was one thing he truly hated, it was disappointing either of his parents in any way. The both of them could tell him it was fine and that it was his life, but he would never see it that way no matter what they said. Roy had already expressed his excitement, unintentionally settling things in his mind. Aidan could also feign sickness, but unless it was to help someone else, typically Bran or Ally, he didn't like to lie. He was too much like his mother for his own good.

"I'm sure you'll have fun," Riza said as she set the letter back down on the table.

Aidan snatched up the letter and gave her a sour look. "Like you have fun at those galas and fundraisers with Dad?"

Well, he had her there. He was also too smart for his own good sometimes.

* * *

The week went by without much to say. As promised, Roy took Aidan shopping for a suit the next day. They hadn't done that together since the wedding. It had been the first time they'd done something alone as father and son in public. Riza remembered how nervous Roy had been and Aidan's own excitement. Despite the fact that he was reluctant to go to the dance, Aidan did come back home grinning lopsidedly and told her everything that they did. Unlike some thirteen year-olds, he seemed to enjoy spending time with his parents, perhaps because he'd spent the first four years of his life not having the both of them together.

However, when Roy broached the subject of finding a date, Aidan was at a complete loss. It didn't matter to him that he was the Fuhrer's only son and good-looking for his age. ( _"He has my good looks, after all,"_ Roy pointed out cheekily.) He was still a teenager and teenagers were awkward as hell if nothing else. The prospect of asking a girl out, even if it was just for one night to a dance, made him terribly uncomfortable. To make matters worse, it appeared as if his best friend, Bran, had already found a date. Fourteen year-olds, according to Aidan, were way cooler.

"There isn't a single girl at school that you have a crush on?" Roy asked over dinner.

Aidan picked at his food and shook his head mutely.

"What about Ally?" Riza pointed out. "You're already friends, so you're comfortable around her."

A panic-stricken look crossed Aidan's face, and it appeared as if his face didn't know whether it wanted to blanch or blush. "Ally?" He blinked rapidly, twirling his fork in his fingers, until finally his face turned red and he began to shake his head. "N-no, Ally is like my sister. That would be weird."

Well, Riza didn't see why Aidan would react so terribly to her suggestion. He had known Ally since she was born, practically grew up with her. Maybe it did seem weird since he was best friends with her older brother, but they were friends too. They'd done sleepovers, went trick-or-treating together, played together, and everything. She thought that part of the reason Aidan was so hesitant over asking a girl to a dance was because he was uncomfortable around them. He could be a complete charmer when he wanted to be, but he wasn't an overly outgoing kid. He was only extroverted when it suited him. Right now, that side of him was failing. She'd figured Ally going with him might bolster it again. She always managed to bring out Aidan's more confident, extroverted side.

A more knowing look on his face, Roy watched his son as he ate his food. "I'm sure you'll figure something out. Maybe it'll be more fun going stag to the dance. You won't be so tied down then."

That didn't seem to set well with Aidan at all, but after sighing, he began to eat again. Riza knew that it was a good sign. It meant that he'd made up his mind. She glanced at Roy, who waggled his eyebrows at her. She had a feeling that he knew something that she didn't. She'd just have to pry it out of him later tonight. She had her convincing ways after all.

* * *

"Thanks for letting us stay for the weekend," Edward sighed as he took the mug of tea from her and relaxed down on the couch. "It wouldn't have been a problem finding a hotel room on such short notice, but-"

"But that's nonsense," Riza told him as she sat down across from him. "I'm sure you've plenty of talent in that area, but we have enough space to accommodate a small army. Two more people isn't going to hurt us."

Indeed, the Fuhrer's house was larger than either of them liked. There were so many rooms that she didn't know what they were supposed to do with half of them. At least she wasn't forced to decorate them. Neither she nor Roy were the best at interior design. Even Aidan's baby room at her old place had been decorated mostly by Rebecca. Roy hadn't fully moved in until after they were officially engaged. He'd hated the idea of living alone in such a huge place. She only knew what to expect because of her time being held captive and forced to work under King Bradley.

"Plus," Riza added as she glanced in the other room, "it's nice to have visitors."

The doors to the library were open, making the two occupants visible. Aidan was animated as he showed Sara Elric all his favorite books that had been left behind by old Fuhrers of the past. As his first daughter and second child, Sara looked very much like Edward, although her hair was a little lighter like Winry's. She was also Aidan's age, a sprite thirteen year-old, three inches shorter than Aidan. According to Edward, his oldest son Ben was blessed with Winry's early growth spurt while Sara lagged behind like Edward once had. Because the two of them had grown up together, they often kept in contact, although they didn't see one another as much as Aidan did Havoc's kids.

"How long has it been?" Edward asked.

"Over a year," Riza answered. "We came out for a weekend when Alphonse and May visited."

Edward shook his head. "How they manage to travel so much with three kids is beyond me." He pointed at his daughter, who was balancing precariously on a ladder trying to grab a book from a high shelf. "Sara's got the same travel bug that I had growing up, always asks to join me when I go on trips to make a speech or something comes up with my work." He rubbed his face with his free hand. "I keep thinking that she's so young, but I was traveling on my own at her age. Why you and Mustang thought letting two kids run rampant was a good idea…"

"Oh, we didn't," Riza added with a light laugh. "But we didn't have much an option either. There was no way that we could've kept you close by in Eastern. It was safer to keep you out of the higher up's reach anyways."

"We did a lot of crazy stuff back then," Edward said, a distant look in his golden eyes.

Riza could understand how he felt very well. Whenever she looked at Aidan, she thought about all the things Edward had done at his age. State Alchemist at thirteen, technically a Major in the military, forced to carry out commands that Roy gave him, traveled around Amestris with only his little brother as his guide, determined to get their bodies back. That was a lot of pressure for a thirteen year-old kid. She considered it a blessing that Aidan's only concern right now was school and the dance in two nights.

"How are you all anyways?" Edward asked curiously. "I read about the peace treaty with Drachma. I honestly never thought I'd see that in my lifetime."

"Roy always has been more diplomatic than you gave him credit for," Riza pointed out with a smile.

Edward snorted. "He's still a bastard."

"That's Fuhrer Bastard to you, Fullmetal," Roy proclaimed as he strolled into the room. Edward rolled his eyes. Unlike in the past though, there wasn't a hint of anger in either of their actions. The banter would always be there, but the heat behind it was gone for the most part. "Insult the leader of your country one more time and I'll be forced to put you out on the streets."

"You wouldn't do that to a kid, would you?" Edward questioned.

A smug grin crossed Roy's face. "I only said that I'd kick you out. Sara can stay. She's a sweet kid, unlike you, who has never been sweet in your life."

As the two of them continued to trade barbed remarks at one another, Riza sat back and relaxed. She liked watching them like this, comfortable and at ease with one another. They easily switched from half-heartedly insulting one another to talking about the current political affairs that Roy was involved in and then to Edward's research and his speech at the college downtown. It was of special note since it involved the State Alchemist Program. Both Roy and Edward had special stakes in it, especially Roy, who had spent the past fifteen years slowly fighting to change it.

"Uh, Uncle Ed?" Aidan's voice interrupted.

The two men quit talking and all three adults focused their attention on the two children that had made their way into the room. Sara was smiling brightly while Aidan wore that same uncomfortable look that said he'd rather be anywhere else in the world than here.

"What's up, kid?" Edward asked.

Aidan cleared his throat, standing up straight, and spoke in such a strong and confident voice that contrasted his nervousness earlier. "Sara said that you two were going to be in town through the weekend, so I was wondering if you would allow Sara to come with me to my school's dance Saturday night." It was the perfect, eloquent request of a gentleman asking out a young lady. Riza could only imagine Roy saying the same thing when he was a teenager. Hadn't he done that when he'd asked her to join him at a festival a town over?

"What?" Edward asked, like he hadn't heard the question right.

" _What_?" Roy asked, like he had and didn't believe it.

"Mom had a point the other night," Aidan explained in a matter-of-fact voice. He didn't seem to notice the shocked look on both men's faces. "I should go with someone I'm comfortable with and know, but I don't want to ask any of the girls at school. I've known Sara for forever and we're friends. Plus, she's never gone to a dance either."

"Oh, please, Dad!" Sara exclaimed, rushing forward and grabbing Edward's hands. He gaped down at his daughter, seemingly at a loss. "It'll be so much fun! There's supposed to be music, food, and games too. Aidan said he can give me a tour of his school since he really doesn't want to dance much."

"I…" Edward looked from his daughter's pleading golden eyes to Roy's wide dark ones. Aidan stood calmly, having not moved. Now that he'd made his decision, he appeared to be at ease. Roy couldn't even manage to get a word out of his mouth. Out of all the girls for his son to ask to the dance, it was Edward's? None of them could have ever anticipated that something like this would happen in their future. "What will you wear?"

When she saw Sara wilt as the thought crossed her mind, Riza chimed in, "I'm actually going out with Rebecca tomorrow. We were going to take Ally dress shopping and Bran some new shoes. Sara can come with this. It'll give you and Roy time to compare notes on the State Alchemist Program."

"Please, Dad!" Sara pleaded.

"We'll be back as soon as the dance is over," Aidan said. She had no doubt about that. He never broke curfew, mostly because it was somewhat impossible, what with all the guards surrounding the Fuhrer and his family.

Edward rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, what the hell? You can go." As Sara cheered, kissing her father on the cheek and then bounding towards Aidan, Edward looked decidedly wary. He watched as Sara bounded towards Aidan, grabbing him by the arm, and unceremoniously dragging him back into the library. Once the two of them were out of earshot, Edward shot Roy a glare. "You're lucky I know he takes more after Riza than you."

"You're acting like this is my fault?" Roy held his hands up in the air.

"Your son asked my daughter out on a date!"

"Very politely, I might add."

Riza took a sip of her tea and glanced at the kids out of the corner of her eye. Aidan and Sara were back to rifling through the books, probably something on alchemy, completely oblivious to the fact that their fathers were currently arguing about them. "Aidan likely doesn't see it as a date."

"Not as girl-crazy as Mustang?" Edward scoffed.

"I was _never_ girl-crazy," Roy replied quickly. "For the last time, that was a cover, you dolt. I couldn't exactly date the woman I wanted to date."

"You two are worrying too much," Riza said. "It'll be fine. Let them have some fun."

Both Roy and Edward folded their arms across their chest and mumbled under their breath, perfectly mirroring one another. Riza fought the urge to roll her eyes. Men, sometimes, were more difficult than children.

* * *

The idea of finding not one but two dresses put Rebecca into a near exhilarated frenzy. She was more than ecstatic to have another girl join them on their shopping trip, just as Bran was relieved that Aidan would now be joining them so he wasn't the only boy. Although Sara was familiar with Bran and Ally and had met them quite a few times, she wasn't nearly as close to them as Aidan was and vice versa. Sara still lived in Resembool while Aidan and the others lived in Central. And so Aidan had insisted on joining them, so that he could be the bridge between all the kids.

Times like these definitely reminded Riza that Roy was Aidan's father. He already had a knack at smoothing things out and helping build relationships. If he ever decided to go into the military, he'd be good at it. For now though, he kept whatever dreams he had about his future to himself, though she knew that it would come up sooner or later. He was the same age as Roy was when he'd first started his alchemy apprenticeship with her father.

"Oh, what about this one?" Rebecca asked as she picked out a soft blue dress.

Ally immediately shook her head. Mother and daughter stared each other down, brown eyes against blue, before Rebecca put the dress back up and moved on. Riza noted that Ally was being strangely quiet. For all the excitement that had bubbled in her about the dance this whole week, she didn't seem to be having any fun right now. She hung behind her mother, a slight frown on her face, and said no to almost everything. Her being quiet was what threw Riza off the most. Ally was very rarely quiet.

When Rebecca finally found a dress that seemed to appease her daughter, she wandered off to find an employee who could get the right size down. Ally stayed behind, sticking near Riza. Instead of watching her mother though, she was staring off towards where the other children were. Bran, Aidan, and Sara were crowded together looking at the collector cards in Bran's hands. It was something all three kids were involved with, but apparently not Ally. She was the youngest one in the group, but only by a year.

It was also quite obvious that Ally was not just watching them play at something that excluded her, but that she was glaring at them as well. Out of the entire group, Ally was the most social. Bran could be quiet, though not as much as Aidan. Sara was bubbly and bright, but nowhere near as much as Ally, who took very much after Rebecca in her personality, if not her father in her looks.

"Are you feeling well, Ally?" Riza asked.

Ally glanced at her with sharp blue eyes, pressing her lips into a thin line. It was the same kind of look Havoc used to give whenever he was mad at Roy for "stealing" a girl that he had a crush on and would glower at the door to Roy's interior office. The fact that she recognized that same look on his daughter would've made her laugh out loud if she was not sure that Ally would stomp away in anger, just as Havoc would when someone on the team pointed it out.

Before Riza could say anything further though, Ally exploded, unable to keep it in any longer. "Why did Aidan ask Sara to the dance?"

Riza quirked up an eyebrow. That was not what she had been expecting. She thought that maybe Rebecca giving attention to another girl was bothering her, not Aidan. "Well, he assumed that if he brought someone with him, he wouldn't have to dance with other people."

"That's dumb," Ally proclaimed flatly. "He could just tell girls that he doesn't want to dance with them."

"You know how he is," Riza pointed out gently. "If a girl asked him to dance, he'd say yes, even if he didn't want to. He wouldn't want to hurt their feelings."

"Then I would tell them to leave him alone if he was too scared," Ally said. Riza did smile at that. She could picture that all too well: Aidan standing off to the side, trying to appear invisible, when a girl shyly comes up to ask him to dance; before he could reluctantly say yes, Ally would pop up and tell girl off and shoo her away. She would protect him without even thinking even as Bran laughed. That was how they worked. They protected one another.

Bran came up with the ideas; Ally carried them out; and Aidan got them out of trouble somehow. Beginning, middle, end. Except now Ally was feeling left out of their group and perhaps even replaced.

Riza thought about that knowing look on Roy's face and the strange way Aidan had reacted to Riza's suggestion that he ask Ally out to the dance. He'd taken her advice in the end, but for a different female friend. "Did you want Aidan to ask you to go to the dance with him?"

"No!" Ally denied vehemently, but it was also too quick as well. Just like when Breda teased Havoc about having a crush on Rebecca back when they all worked in East City, years before everything went to hell. He had denied it then too with everything in his soul, even as his face turned bright red. "Whatever. I don't care. He's going with Sara now."

"I'm sure he'll still dance with you if you ask him," Riza said in a gentle voice.

Ally shook her head. "I don't want to dance with him."

Sure she didn't. Riza breathed out a sigh as Rebecca wound her way back to them, dress in hand. The two of them disappeared into the dressing room area so that Ally could try on the dress. By the time she was done and ready to step out, Aidan had returned to Riza's side. Unlike Bran, who go fidgety on outings like this, it never seemed to bother him whatsoever. She thought it came with the times that he went out with Roy whenever he had to get a new suit or something tailored or how he and Riza always went shopping together. This was normal for him.

"Alright, let's see it!" Rebecca called.

"I...I don't know if I like it," came Ally's muffled response.

"Oh, just come on, Ally cat. I'm sure you look cute."

The door slowly opened to reveal Ally. The dress had a floral top, a black belt that tied into a bow in the back, and a white skirt. Nothing too dressing, but still bright and colorful. Like Rebecca, she didn't go for simple things. It was indeed a very cute dress and it fit her just fine. Ally was almost never shy, but as twelve, even she had her moments.

"Aw," Rebecca gushed, "you look so adorable!"

Ally beamed, her earlier shyness and moody nature forgotten.

"I think you look very pretty, Ally," Aidan stated. He wasn't shy in his compliment either. To him, it was just a matter of facts and he sounded as such. Roy made jokes about how important it was to tell a woman that she looked pretty, but Aidan took the comments to heart. Growing up, he always told Riza that she looked pretty whenever she was dressed up.

However, it caused Ally's cheeks to burn pink and she rushed to slam the door shut. While Aidan wore a quizzical look, confused as to what had just happened, both Rebecca and Bran laughed, knowing full well what was going on. Riza merely shook her head. How her son managed to twist Roy's flirtatious behavior into something that resembled her personality was odd, but it never ceased to be amusing at least. Oh, the kids were certainly growing up and fast too. Right now, Aidan wasn't really thinking of dating, but when he did…

Well, Riza and Roy would cross that bridge when they came to it. For now, Riza was going to enjoy Aidan's oblivious and awkward nature for as long as she could.


	2. the smallest words (part 1)

**Author's Notes:** Based on one of my headcanons on tumblr that I came up with about Aidan, I was literally unable to stop myself from writing this. In fact, the problem became that I wanted to write so much that it turned into a two parter, which I think works better. This was so much fun. I had a blast getting into Aidan's mind, especially about something that had to be confusing as hell. There are a few references to an article from my fic _"Hightlights"_ from my Hamilton-inspired drabbles series, **"Who Tells Your Story?"** as well. This is seriously one of the angstiest things I've ever written, but listen, this fourteen year-old boy has got some shit going on. I loved writing from Aidan's perspective. It was fun to see Riza and Roy from such a different view. The Havolina kids, Bran and Ally, belong to the brilliant **stupidsexymustang** , of course! Love them and her! Talking to her helped inspire me to write this.

 **Chapter Summary:** (Part 1) After getting into a fight with a kid at school over his mother, Aidan comes to some startling and upsetting realizations about why Riza left the military and why she and Roy weren't together the first four years of his life.

* * *

 **we'll give the world to you**  
 _the smallest words_

* * *

People have treated him differently for his entire life. Bran says that he should be used to it by now, but Aidan can't help but feel uncomfortable when people give him strange looks. It's been like this for as long as he can remember, but then he does have a weird life. Not everyone can say that they're the Fuhrer's son. According to history, the Fuhrer before his great grandfather, King Bradley, had a son named Selim. Aidan wonders how he fared, being the son of the most important man in the country, if it made him feel like he was removed from everyone else or if he liked the attention that it garnered him.

Aidan decidedly doesn't like it. His mom doesn't either. They share that in common. His father, on the other hand, seems to glow in the spotlight. Aidan only likes the spotlight when it's of his own choice and most of the time, what with who his parents are, it's not. But this has been his life for so long. His parents are famous in Amestris for a lot of things. He's their son. It's only natural that people are curious about him.

He can only remember flashes of his life before his parents were married, but most of them only involve his mom. She's always the constant in his memories of his earliest years. His mom hugging him, his mom smiling that secret smile of hers, his mom wrapping her body around his protectively when he crawled into bed with her and she was alone, his mom telling him how brave, strong, smart, kind he was. There are flashes of his dad here and there - letting Aidan sit on his lap in the car and pretend to drive, the flames he'd create while telling a dramatic story, the way he'd try to sneak up on his mom and always got caught.

But what Aidan mostly remembers about his father during the time before his parents married was his distance. It was almost desperate adoration in private and then a cold detachment in public. He did not hold Aidan. He did not take care of him when he tripped and fell. He smiled and made jokes, but they were the kind of interactions one did with their friend's kid. His mom tried to make it a game, so when he always called his dad by the "correct" name, he got a treat or a little gift, like it was a prize.

 _"Congrats! You're only three, but you didn't make the mistake of calling out 'Dad' in public!"_

The confusing feelings stuck with him like irritating glue paste that you got stuck on your hands. His mom was always honest with him, but she kept mum on the details surrounding why things were the way they were. Eventually, when he was older, she explained some things: Ishval, their promise to right their wrongs, her promise to guard his father's back until he reached his goals. That confused Aidan the most. If they loved each other, why couldn't they be together and still do all those things like in the movies and books?

It's a bit difficult to explain anti-fraternization laws to an eight year-old, now matter how bright they are.

Six years later, Aidan is a little wiser to why things went the way they did, but he was still ignorant and naive on some things. He was the kind of kid that dug into knowledge and poured all his efforts into something when he wanted to learn - but if he didn't ask questions, then he didn't know. He never outright asked his mom all those years ago why he had to refer to his father as "Mustang" or "General" or "sir". He was "Mom's boss" and that was that. He never asked why his mom left the military and later joined the private sector. Figured she'd tell if she wanted to and she never did.

So it's something of a shock when he hears the name "Riza Hawkeye" in some older kid's mouth in the school cafeteria. Confrontation is not one of Aidan's favorite things in the world. He's gone to long lengths to avoid some things in his life. However, if someone is talking about his mother, he'd like to know why. He immediately feels himself tense up, his hands gripping his tray tightly, as his eyes focus on the kid in question and he beelines it in that direction.

"Aidan?" Bran calls from behind him, but Aidan doesn't respond. Not altogether too strange, considering that Aidan has a habit of getting lost in his thoughts, but Bran still follows him.

"Excuse me," Aidan says, swallowing down any panic at confronting what looks like a senior, "but did I just hear you say the name 'Riza Hawkeye'?"

The boy turns to look down at him and sneers. It's the kind of sneer that says you're the butt of a joke that went right over your head and they're better than you. Aidan knows that kind of look. Ally would say that he doesn't have a mean bone in his body, but he's a teenage boy and if he's ever feeling particularly vicious or angry, he wears that exact sneer. He's seen his dad wear it as well when he's at work dealing with people he hates.

Aidan doesn't back down or blink. If he wants to be the center of attention, then he can handle it.

"Yeah," the boy replies. "What's it to you, punk?"

"I'm-"

"That's him!" a guy on the left exclaims. "That's the Fuhrer's son. Looks just like him. That's how you know for sure that he's his."

The boy gives him a lazy lookover, looking unimpressed. "So you're that whore's son, huh?"

This time, Aidan does blink. He sees Bran walk to his side, quiet and frowning. That's not like Bran, who is able to laugh at almost anything. "What?"

"I heard that your mom slept with your dad so that she could get promoted," the boy claims. "Slept with a few other people too to keep things a secret. How do you think she was able to hide it for so long? How do you think she was able to support you after she got fired?" The boy laughs along with his friends. "I guess if you give good enough blow jobs, you can make it anywhere."

Aidan has never been in a fight in his life. That's usually Ally's forte. She'll attack anyone for slighting him or Bran in any way. She's protective and tiny and very, very fast. She even bristles from behind him at the comments, ready to throw her tray at a boy that has over a foot on her. But she doesn't get the chance. Because one second Aidan is watching as this guy laughs about his mom being a whore and the next his tray is falling to the ground and Aidan is physically launching himself at the asshole.

Just because he's never been in a fight doesn't mean that he doesn't know how to fight. His mom taught him well. She's had to fight all her life, being a woman in a man's world. She fought men much bigger than her. She wanted him to learn how to defend himself. And so it's something of a surprise when Aidan tackles the larger boy to the ground, hunkering over top of him, and connects a quick, well-placed fist to his face. Everyone jumps back, crowding around them in a circle, at a complete loss for what to do.

One punch, two punches, three-

He's not an angry kid. Not wild like Ally can be at times if she's upset or scary silent like Bran when he's mad. Aidan is more likely to talk his way out of a fight. In all honesty, he's more likely to figure out a way to get back at someone without resulting to violence. He doesn't really argue and he doesn't really yell and Bran laughs every time Aidan gets worked up enough to actually swear.

But this kid - this stupid, doesn't-know-anything kid - said all those awful lies about the most important person in his life, the one person that has always been there for him, and Aidan just saw red.

"Aidan, stop!" someone that sounds like Ally shouts behind him.

Half of him wants to ignore her, keep laying into this boy, but he doesn't ignore Ally. That's not what he does. When someone says something to you, especially a woman, you're supposed to listen. And it's _Ally_. Aidan pulls a fist back and hesitates for a moment, blinking down at the bloodied-nose boy underneath him and feels a shock of pain in his knuckles that lets him know just what he's done. That hesitation is enough to give the boy time to take advantage, walloping Aidan in the side of the head and knocking him down. Before he can even get up, he gets a fist to the face and black spots burst in his eyes.

"You stupid, little bastard!" the boy yells at him, but before he can get another hit in, his friends drag him off. Aidan is still dizzy from the two blows as he sits up, rubbing his sore face. He can already feel the swelling under his hand. His first black eye probably. His mom was going to ground him until he graduated high school. "I don't give a shit if you're the Fuhrer's son. I'll beat your ass next time I see you!"

Ally is on Aidan in a flash, her hands on his face that he mumbles is okay. She shoots the older boy a venomous glare, not looking the least bit threatening since she's a good four years younger. "Get gone, jerk!"

The boy snarls through the blood spilling from his nose. "Guess you're like your dad after all - letting your whore, little girlfriend do all the work for you."

If it wasn't for both Bran and Ally holding him down, Aidan is almost certain that he would've scrambled to attack that kid again. Ally is thirteen, for god's sake. Who is this asshole kid and what is his problem? Bran's grip on his shoulder tightens for a second and Aidan knows that he's trying to decide whether holding Aidan back is worth it, especially after the comment about his little sister. Ally is tense as well. She doesn't take insults lightly. It's in that moment, dizzy as he feels, that Aidan takes a deep breath and lets all that unexpected rage filter out of him. It slides away, as quick as it came, and he's left feeling that confused, hollow feeling he gets in his gut every now and then.

"Forget him," Aidan mumbles. "He's not worth it."

It might take the rest of the school year to figure something out, but Aidan will get back at him somehow. He's his mother's son, but he's got a bit of his dad in him yet.

Ally bites her lip. "Oh, Aidan…"

A moment later, before any of them can say anything else, a teacher swoops in and Aidan is pried away from his friends. It's his own fault. Aidan doesn't even protest or explain why he did what he did. He punched a kid in the face multiple times. He broke some very fundamental rules. He deserves the punishment that follows. Definitely doesn't mean he's looking forward to it. Not the trip to the nurse's office and then the principal's, where the other boy is being spoken to on the other side of the door.

Instead of being attentive and listening carefully as the principal expresses his extreme disappointment and shock at Aidan's behavior, he stares listlessly at his shoes. He can't get that kid's words out of his head. Is that what people think of his mom? Is that what people think happened? That she used her body to get promoted? That she somehow manipulated her boss into bringing her to the top? That she slept around with others to keep things quiet after he was born and later on to provide after she lost her job?

He thinks back to the earliest years of his life. There was only one man in her life. It was always Roy Mustang. There were always the assortment of "uncles" that he grew up with, men that his mom worked with, men that he knew he could trust. There was Uncle Ed, who joked that "Hawkeye is a saint for putting up with Mustang for this long, but crazy for loving the bastard." There was his great grandfather, who they lived with briefly after his mom left the military.

Did she leave the military? Or was she discharged? Was she forced out? Was she fired? If she was, the orders would have come down through her great grandfather himself since he was the Fuhrer at the time. Aidan realizes with a start that he's never asked her why she wasn't in the military any longer. It was always, "Mom left the military," not "Mom was dishonorably discharged from the military for breaking anti-fraternization laws with her superior officer." And there are people out there that think that she is just some floozy that used herself and manipulated men to get where she wanted.

That her getting pregnant was either a mistake or a way to trick a man that was going to the top into marrying her.

Aidan's stomach turns on its end. He's vaguely aware of the principal asking him if he's listening, but he can't think anymore, much less speak. He feels himself closing up, the walls caving in over him, like he's always done when he becomes too upset. He doesn't normally get angry; he doesn't normally get mean or violent. He just shuts down. He goes quiet, but not in that scary way Bran does that warns people he's mad. A blank fog settles over him and he has to fight the childish urge to pull his knees to his chest and close his eyes. Instead, he sits still, eyes still downcast, and flatly says, "Yes, sir."

"You're a model student," the principal tells him, "but there will be serious consequences for you, even if you are the Fuhrer's son." When Aidan doesn't say anything in response to defend himself or to even get himself out of trouble, something which he would most certainly do in other circumstances, the man leans back and sighs. "You're not going to try to explain yourself to get out of this? That's...not like you."

If people think that about his mom, what do they think about his dad? What do they think about him? Distant memories that feel like not-memories of reporters calling him a "bastard" flitter into his mind, reminding him of what that boy called him. A bastard child, an unplanned pregnancy that threw a wrench into his parents' plans for the future, that eventually ruined his mother's lifelong career perhaps in a bid to save his father's. After all, he's the important one, right?

The door behind him opens and the sound of heavy boots follows. Aidan doesn't need to look back to know who it is, not from the way his principal practically rockets out of his chair, makes a formal bow, and says, "Sir."

"I suppose you need a word with me before I take my son home?" Fuhrer Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, his father, asks by way of greeting.

The principal nods, looking more than a bit awkward. How to tell the leader of your country that their son is getting a few days' suspension for getting into a fight in the cafeteria? Even worse, Aidan didn't offer any reason for doing so, choosing to stay silent and lose himself in his mind.

"Step outside, Aidan." There is familiarity in his voice, but no warmth, which lets Aidan know two things: one) he's in trouble, and two) his dad is upset. When his dad's gaze flickers to him, Aidan glances away from his shoes for the first time since sitting down. He meets his dad's eyes, so much like his own, he sees that removed distance he came to associate with the man in his earliest years. It's startling to see it again after all these years, even though he knows it's because his dad has "business" with his principal and Aidan is in trouble, but it causes him to flinch and look away in shame anyways.

Nodding his head mutely, Aidan stands up and shuffles out of the room, closing the door behind him and sitting down on a bench. He's not alone, seeing as how his dad can't go traveling on his own, but he wishes he could've been. He can't stand the way his Uncle Havoc is looking at him sideways. Havoc was there for him in ways that his own father couldn't be in the very beginning. Bran is a lot like him, even if Ally looks more like him. Always ready with a funny quip and a quick laugh, the type of person that can bring warmth into the coldest of rooms. But Aidan doesn't want that. He doesn't want his Uncle Havoc. He doesn't want his friends, who he knows will crowd him with questions later on. He doesn't even want his dad, truth be told.

All Aidan wants, as pathetic as it sounds at fourteen years-old, is his mom.

Luckily, Havoc seems to know not to ask any questions, especially concerning the shiner that is starting to appear on his face, and Aidan doesn't say a word. He sits in complete silence, not caring if it's awkward. Havoc has known him for all his life; he knows about Aidan's tendency to close in on himself when he's upset. God, he's probably had to deal with Ally complaining about him the few times he's done it with her.

Ten minutes later, his dad strides out of the room and comes to a halt in front of him. Aidan looks up at his father and meets his eyes again. He can somehow tell from the way his dad twists his lips that he's frustrated with Aidan for holding back and not giving anything away with his gaze. Aidan is good at that though. He's good at hiding. He had to be growing up and he's just now starting to figure out why. Havoc pushes away from the wall, arms still folded, and gives them both uneasy looks, feeling out of place between the silent communication (or lack thereof) between disappointed father and troubled son.

"I'm taking you home," his dad finally says. It's in such a final tone too, like Aidan could argue with him somehow. He doesn't say home like it's a good thing, more like it's going to be his prison for the next week.

 _I don't want to go home with you,_ Aidan thinks for a wild moment. Where is his mom? Why isn't she with his dad? She guards him too, though not as much anymore.

He doesn't say anything though. He picks up his backpack, which Havoc must've gotten from his locker, and walks out of the office with his father and Havoc at his heels.

The ride home is filled with more terse silence. Havoc drives with both Aidan and his dad in the back. His dad would much prefer to sit in the passenger seat like normal, but the Fuhrer didn't do that. It left them too open for a sniper shot. The backseats gave much better cover. Aidan looks out the window and watches everything pass them by, refusing to speak or even look to his father. Just as stubborn, his dad sits on the other side, alternating between flipping through paperwork that the call from school must've pulled him from and glancing to his son. Aidan can feel it when the man's eyes are on him, but he acts like he doesn't notice.

Once they're finally home, Aidan moves to rush to his bedroom, where he thinks he'd like to stay for the rest of his life, when he feels a hand on his shoulder and stops mid-step. "Not so fast," his dad says. "We need to talk." He pulls his hand away and gives Aidan space, the kind he gives his mom whenever she's mad at him for doing something very foolish and dangerous.

Knowing that there is literally nothing in the world that he can say to get out of this for once - that there's no tricking a trickster - Aidan turns around and simply says, "Okay."

"Okay?" The frown on his dad's face can't be any deeper, but instead of anger like Aidan originally expected, there is more confusion in his eyes than anything else. "Aidan, you got into a fight in school during lunch. _You broke his nose_. Quite frankly, the only reasons you're not getting more than a week's suspension are because the other boy wouldn't say why you attacked him and you're the Furher's son. What in the hell got into you?"

"The Fuhrer's son," Aidan bites back without even thinking, which he never does. "It does sound nice, doesn't it? Looks good on paper too. A charming man with his lovely wife and well-behaved son."

The caustic words cause his father to actually straighten up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Aidan doesn't know. He isn't thinking straight. He tries to formulate the right words in his head - get things straight before he speaks, like he always does - but for some reason, he just can't. He keeps hearing that boy's words and then his mind races to his earliest memories, days when it was just him and his mom. Just Aidan and Riza Hawkeye. They changed his surname legally after the marriage. But there was a time when he wasn't the Fuhrer's son - when he wasn't Roy Mustang's son - when he wasn't a Mustang - when he had to play pretend that he didn't know the words "Dad" or "Father".

He remembers the old newspaper article he stumbled over when he was eight, which prompted the first time he asked his mom about why she and his dad didn't get married until he was four. He didn't understand it then and largely forgot about it after, not really caring, but now it comes roaring back to him full blast, screaming in his head like some tornado warning. Words about _"Mustang's playboy ways"_ and his mom being a _"simple-minded floozy"_ and then the statement, _"Bastard orphan begets bastard child."_ When he closes his eyes, he can see his mother's stricken face when he asked in a childishly curious tone, _"What's a bastard?"_

Technically speaking, he was a bastard.

Is that what people think of him when they see him now? Or did they forget their judgemental thoughts in light of the charming First Family?

"Hey, listen to me," his dad says in a much gentler tone, "you can talk to me. You know that, right?" Aidan loves his dad - swears he loves him - and he knows that he can talk to him - he knows that - but he doesn't want to. He wants to talk to his mom. She was always there for him. His dad, Mustang, wasn't. "I freaked out when I heard you got into a fight. That's not like you, Bug."

He's fourteen years-old, too damn old for the nickname that his dad gave him when he was born, but it's not the fact that he's old that causes him to step back. It's the nickname. He almost never called Aidan by his name, just referred to him as a little "Bug". It was supposed to be their inside joke since Aidan couldn't call him "dad" - to let him know that his dad still cared. But it just reminds him of all the times his dad wasn't there. It makes him think of the times when he wanted to rush into his dad's arms, like Bran did with Havoc, but instead was forced to cling to the back of his mother's legs.

Mustang puts a hand on his shoulder again. "You know I'm here for you, right?"

"You weren't always," Aidan says quietly. Before the man can say anything in response, Aidan pulls away from him, stumbling, and shakes his head when Mustang reaches out to steady him. "It was just me and Mom for so long and it was stupid and it hurt her, but she was always so happy and strong for me. She was there for me. You just showed up when it was convenient for you." He clenches his fists at his side. "I guess picking me up today was just another inconvenience for you though, kind of like my birth."

The panicked and fearful look in Mustang's eyes mirrors the feelings swallowing up Aidan so much that it makes him want to lock himself up for weeks. Why couldn't he have looked more like his mom? Maybe it would've been easier to hide his parentage then - easier to hide him, the truth, their dirty little secret - and she never would've been kicked out of the military or hurt or abandoned. That's how it felt to him now. Sure, Mustang was here and they were one, small, happy family, but it was out of pure luck. What if Mustang hadn't been appointed Fuhrer after his great grandfather stepped down? How long would they wait or would they simply give up on the idea of ever being a family?

How long would his mom had to have suffered alone?

"Aidan…" Mustang seems to struggle to find the right words to say. It appears as both of their normal silver tongues somehow vanished. "You have never been an inconvenience. You're my son. I wanted to be there for you all the time - God, I did - but Riza, she… She wouldn't have it. She wouldn't let me go back on my promise and I couldn't do that to her, not after all that I'd done."

"You don't know what it was like," Aidan insists, rubbing at his eyes. Tears prick at them, but he refuses to let them out. Not that he doesn't get sad or that he thinks it's a sign of weakness - he's just never been a crier. "You weren't there. You can't possibly know about the nights I couldn't sleep and I'd go to the bedroom, telling myself that you'd be there so you could tell me a story, but then you weren't. And then - she was so quiet, but I could hear Mom crying." His mom never cried in front of him. She is strong and brave and stalworthy. But everyone gets lonely and everyone has their weaknesses, even superheroes. "I always tried to leave before she knew I was there, because it scared me to see her like that, but she always heard me and she'd act like nothing was wrong. But it was wrong. It was all wrong."

Mustang stands up straight and runs his fingers through his messy hair. Aidan has to fight the urge to do the same thing. He does it whenever he's nervous or upset, both of them do. "I never wanted it to be like that. I ran myself ragged to get where I am now as fast as I could so I could right that wrong as well." He lets out a mirthless laugh. "It seems my life is just a circle of righting wrongs I've committed."

"I was a wrong too, wasn't I?" Aidan asks in a pitiful voice.

As quick as lightening, Mustang's face goes white. "Shit, Aidan, no, definitely not, you're not- God, finding out your mother was pregnant was the happiest I'd ever been in my life. I didn't think I could be that happy."

"But I was an inconvenience," Aidan says, spiraling into all the insecurities that were perhaps building up since he could remember. "I threw a wrench into your plans. I messed everything up. I hurt Mom. If it wasn't for me, you never would've had to sneak around so much. If I hadn't been born, Mom wouldn't have been kicked out of the military. You might not have been able to become Fuhrer. You and Mom… You all could've been alone forever."

Stepping forward, Mustang bends down to reach for Aidan again, but he takes another step back. A flash of hurt crosses Mustang's face, one that Aidan recognizes quite well. It is the same look that Aidan wore whenever Mustang wouldn't pick him up as a toddler or the one Mustang would make after the proposal and marriage when Aidan still referred to him as something other than "Dad". Old habits die hard, his mom would say, when she'd accidentally do the same thing. Except they laughed when she did it.

"None of that was your fault," Mustang tells him firmly but not unkindly. "It was us, our burden to shoulder, our consequences to face."

Something ugly bubbles to the surface of Aidan's mind. He's not a mean person - everyone says so, that he's really one of the nicest boys ever - but there have been a few times when some awful twist comes over him. He's more like his mom, but he thinks he gets that side of him from his dad. It's vicious and hurtful, but he feels hurt and he angrily wants someone else to hurt as much as him.

His father is an easy target.

"But you didn't face any consequences, did you?" Aidan proclaims in a cold voice, so straightforward and sharp. "You got away with it - just a slap on the wrist - while Mom got cast out by a thing she'd devoted her entire life to, nearly died for time and time again, just because of one little mistake." The word "mistake" tastes bitter on his tongue, because it's him. But it's the truth, isn't it? "You got to keep the fancy title, all the prestige, the money while Mom got harassed and discarded and hurt even more. As if the military didn't hurt her before - as if you didn't."

Deep down, Aidan knows that while it's all technically the truth, it isn't at the same time. His mom told him so many times while growing up that his father loved him. Things were complicated, especially between Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye. They could write a book on complicated relationships and have some leftover for a sequel. He knows that his father didn't deliberately abandon them - that he wanted to be there for him - that he wanted to be a father and husband to them.

But in this moment, Aidan doesn't care. He just wants Mustang to hurt as much as him. He's his father's son in the end; Aidan knows how to hurt him. Riza is both of their weaknesses. Must be a Mustang thing.

"She had people spit at her and look down on her while they gave you praises and respected you," Aidan continues, unable to stop himself, the tears coming now. That kid at school called her a whore. How many other people had done that same thing over the years while she just took it without complaint? What kind of man lets that happen to the woman he loves?

Mustang looks on horrified, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, frozen in a panicked state. Finally, something manages to stun the man into silence and it's his own son. It's like something has snapped inside of him. Maybe it's because Aidan is saying all the things he feared and kept bottled in his mind. All those years and Aidan never once acted like he was mad about how things were like before his parents married, never demanded answers, never was resentful. Ten years later, Aidan is throwing all of his nightmares back into his face.

"You got everything while she got _shit_ on endlessly and you weren't there for her. You didn't protect her. Where were you, huh? You left her; you left us all alone." Aidan is crying now. Fourteen years-old and he's crying in front of his father. How pathetic, right? It makes him so damn angry. He just wants his mom. He feels so small and worthless. He couldn't protect her back then either. He can't even protect her now that he's older and almost a man. "You were so selfish and such a fucking coward and she got hurt so much. Why weren't you there?"

As if the floor has literally been pulled out from underneath him, Mustang staggers backward and collapses into a chair. He leans forward, hiding his face in his hands. They aren't gloved. Aidan always notices if they are or not. His fingers dig into his hair and pull hard. Aidan swallows down a gulp of air, the breath shuddering in his chest, but it causes the tears to stop. The crying fades away from him, but he can't stop shaking, his body and mind buzzing with so much energy and emotion that it's almost too much to take.

A crash from behind makes him jump and Aidan whips around to see his mother standing there, a broken mug at her feet, tea soaking into the carpet. She's the strongest person he knows, but she looks so vulnerable in a bathrobe and slippers. That's when Aidan remembers why Havoc was with Mustang today. His mom has been sick for the past few days and stayed home. Her brown eyes are filled with so much unfiltered hurt and Aidan realizes that he caused that. The realization hits him like a stab in the chest.

Just like Mustang, just like those assholes in the military and media, Aidan hurt her too.

His mother opens her arms, welcoming him into a warm hug that he craves more than anything, but Aidan stumbles away from her, shaking his head, muttering, "no, no, no," repeatedly under his breath. He can't look at his mom. He can't look at his dad. He doesn't blame his mom for the past, but a tiny part of him wants to blame his dad. After all, didn't he get everything he wanted while she lost it all? After everything, all she had left was her bastard son, whose birth made her life difficult and eventually ruined everything.

"Aidan, please…" Mustang begs one last time. He does not sound like the Fuhrer of Amestris.

"You weren't fucking there," Aidan says in a shaky voice. His eyes take one last sweep of the room - his mom's hurt yet understanding eyes, his father's broken-hearted face - and then he runs out of the house. He hears his mom's shouts calling after him, Mustang's warnings for someone to watch him. God forbid he be left unattended.

Snatching up his bike that he left in the expansive front yard yesterday, Aidan hops on, nearly falling over in his rush, but once his foot is on the peddle, he's flying down the driveway. He almost runs over Breda as he passes through the gate, not even bothering with an apology for making the man dive out of the way. The hand that he used to punch the other boy aches from the tight grip on the handlebar and his face aches from where he was hit, but he ignores all that as he rides. Rain starts to pour down a minute later as he tears through the city, the tires of his bike splashing through quickly growing puddles and his hands and feet slipping, but he doesn't stop.

If he stops, he'll start thinking, and if he starts thinking… He doesn't know what will happen. He feels like he'll be crushed by the weight of everything. He just wants to go back to this morning when he didn't have to worry about all these things and wonder if there was ever a moment in his parents' lives where they regretted him. Aidan pedals as fast as he can, his legs throbbing, his lungs burning, his hands aching, and he doesn't care and he doesn't stop. If he stops, he'll want to go home and say he's sorry and that he'll never complain about doing the dishes again. He'll be good. He'll be so good.

And they'll never regret him.


	3. the smallest words (part 2)

**Author's Notes:** Because I had to get this out of my mind before I exploded, here is the second part. I wrote it tonight after I took an unexpected hour nap. The tables have turned on my poor, sweet Aidan, who is suffering from a lot of complicated feelings right now. This has to be a lot for one kid to process. Thank you all so much for reading! It's been a blast writing this and has made me love my OC more, tbh. Dedicated to **stupidsexymustang** , who inspired me all day today about our kids.

 **Chapter Summary:** Smothered by his own fears about his role in his parents' lives, Aidan goes to hide at the one other place he knows that he can find comfort: Havoc and Rebecca's house.

* * *

 **we'll give the world to you**  
 _the smallest words_

* * *

Hours after the fight with his father (was it a fight when Mustang barely even argued back?), Aidan finds himself standing on the doorstep of his Uncle Havoc and Aunt Rebecca's house. It's much smaller compared to his own, considering he lives in the Fuhrer's mansion, but it has never lacked for warmth or love. He's spent what feels like half his life in this home, considering that it belongs to his godparents and his best friends live here. It's probably why he's here now, soaked to the bone, shivering under the steady rain, craving that warmth that he knows he'll get. They won't turn him away and he doesn't want to go home.

Shame settles in his stomach, making him feel sick. It was difficult enough to come here since he knew that his parents most likely called them. He can't go home though, not yet. He's shaking near uncontrollably; he hasn't eaten since eight this morning; and he's so very tired. But home isn't an option. He doesn't think he can face his mom right now and he doesn't want to look at his dad. He honestly don't know how he feels beyond tired, cold, wet, and hungry.

Black hair plastered to his head, face pale, clothes sticking to his skin, Aidan raises a shaky hand to knock on the door and waits patiently. The door is jerked open to reveal his Aunt Rebecca, her curly brown hair wild, and the look on her face turns from concern to shock. She wasn't expecting him, maybe expecting his mom. Before he can even say anything or change his mind and book it again, Rebecca shouts, "Oh my god!" and drags him inside.

"Um," Aidan says, his brain unable to come up with anything, "do you have any soup?"

It's dumb and he honestly doesn't know why he said it, but it was the first thing to pop into his head and it slipped out of his mouth before he could even think about it. Rebecca's lip wobbles as she gazes down at him, like she's about to cry or wallop him upside the head whenever Havoc makes a dirty joke around the kids, but instead she nods her head and pulls him into a bone-crushing hug.

After she lets him go, everything turns into a whirlwind. Rebecca shoves him around the house, talking a thousand miles an hour, not letting him get anything in word-wise. Ally does the same thing to him and he's never minded. He's kind of grateful for it now because he doesn't want to talk.

"My god, you're absolutely drenched. Have you been out in the rain this entire time? You're freezing! What if you catch a cold? Oh, you're bleeding! Bran told me that you got into a fight in school and Riza called to explain, but he didn't say you were bleeding. Did you fall? Have you eaten anything since breakfast? Go to the bathroom and get out of those clothes. Bran, grab something dry for him to wear while I get a blanket! Oh my god, Aidan, you scared everyone half to death."

Before Aidan even knows it, he's shoved unceremoniously into the bathroom with a pair of shorts, boxers, socks, and a t-shirt along with a towel. Now that he's in the quiet by himself again, he feels his thoughts start crowding in on him again, making the bathroom uncomfortably small, and he changes quickly. He doesn't want to think about the fact that running off like that scared his mom. He's not supposed to be alone like that, not since he's the Fuhrer's son. It's dangerous. He could be kidnapped or hurt, anything that could be used as leverage against the Fuhrer. It's not like him to get so overly worked up and emotional like this. His mom probably worried that he'd hurt himself.

Catching a glimpse of his reflection causes him to flinch. There's definitely a shiner now, that side of his face swollen since he never bothered icing it. Blood slips down his nose and a cut on his cheek from where he indeed fell off his bike. Apparently, riding a bike in the rain is kind of dangerous. Grabbing some toilet paper, he does his best to clean his face, but short of stuffing the paper in his nose, it doesn't do much.

When he opens the bathroom door and peers out, he spots Rebecca in the kitchen on the phone. She's muttering, but he can tell from the way she's wrapping the cord around her finger that she's talking to his mom, letting her know where he's at. His stomach drops. What if they come to pick him up? How much trouble will he be in now? All the times he followed the rules and he shattered them without a second thought in one go.

"Hey there, kiddo," Havoc greets, an easy-going smile on his face. "Let's get you patched up, huh?"

While Aidan sits still on the toilet, his eyes on the ground, Havoc sits on the edge of the bathtub across from him, a first aid kit on the counter sink. Havoc does what he can for the shiner, instructing him to ice it afterwards, and then cleans up the cuts, applying antiseptic which makes him wince, getting his nose to stop bleeding, and then putting a bandaid on the cut on his cheek. Havoc frowns at his bruised up hand, but no bones appear to be broken and there aren't any cuts, so it's just icing that as well.

"You're pretty good at this," Aidan says after minutes of silence. It's not like him to break silence, especially when he's in one of his moods, but Havoc isn't normally this quiet and it kind of throws him off.

Havoc chuckles. "I've got a lot of self-practice."

"Because he's an idiot," Rebecca says as she looks inside. "I wouldn't advise following him in that direction." Havoc gives her a little grin to which she rolls her eyes. "I heated up some soup for you. Bran and Ally are already in the kitchen eating dinner."

Nodding his head, Aidan says, "Thank you," and ducks out of the bathroom. Upon meandering in the kitchen, where Bran and Ally are like Rebecca said, he finds the table topped with spaghetti and garlic bread and then a bowl of chicken noodle soup in front of a chair in between the two kids. He realizes with a start that his aunt went out of her way to make him something different to eat because he asked. It makes him want to hide again. He doesn't want this kind of attention.

"Hey, man, you look like shit," Bran announces.

"I feel like it, too," Aidan grumbles as he sits down and picks up a spoon.

"How are you–?" Ally cuts herself off, hand outstretched to touch his face, but she hesitates and then pulls back. He can't tell if he's grateful for the lack of physical contact or if he wishes she'd kept going, so he merely digs into the soup and forces it down. He was hungry earlier, but for some reason, now that it's right in front of him, he can barely find the desire to eat.

Unable to take the silence, even though it's what he's always been most comfortable with, Aidan does the only thing he can think of: he deflects. It's one of his better skills. "Sorry for going crazy like that at school. I hope I didn't scare you or anything." He can talk about the school incident; he cannot talk about the home incident.

"Scare me?" Bran laughs. "If I'm ever scared of you, then there is seriously something wrong with me."

"You could never scare me," Ally insists.

Aidan furrows his brow. "Well thanks for the vote of confidence."

After twirling spaghetti around a fork, Bran uses it to point at Aidan and wave it in his face. "That guy was a dick. He deserved a few good punches to the face. I honestly didn't know you had it in you. Kinda impressed me honestly."

"Everyone was talking about it at school after you left," Ally adds. That makes Aidan groan. The last thing he wants is for more people to be talking about him. Isn't that how this whole mess started? "He was trying to tell people that he kicked your butt, except no one believed him since he looks like he got hit by a truck." She smiles at him. "Some kids said that you were a badass like your dad."

Despite their attempts to cheer him up, that only makes Aidan groan even more and drop his head onto the table. Bran laughs some more, which makes Ally throw a hand towel at him. It's not a mean-spirited laugh though. Both of them know that Aidan doesn't like being the center of attention unless he asks for it, but they also don't know that he really doesn't want to be compared to his father right now. It feels like a punch to the gut. Besides, even though he knows just how powerful his dad is with his alchemy, he's always seen his mom as the more badass type.

Why don't people say such good things about her?

When he feels a pat on his leg, he looks over to see Ally still smiling at him. He gives her a weak smile in return and she pulls her hand away from him. She might not know exactly what he's thinking right now, but he still appreciates the gesture nonetheless. There aren't a lot of people that he's comfortable with concerning physical interaction, but she's one of them, everyone here really. They're an affectionate family after all.

Rebecca and Havoc stride into the room with her leading the way. Havoc looks a little sheepish, the way he looks whenever they get into a disagreement and he's proven wrong. As she sits down at the table, Rebecca says in a cheerful voice, "Why don't you stay the night here, Aidan? It's really late, after all, and tomorrow isn't a school night. It's been awhile since you all have had a sleepover."

Aidan looks at both of the adults as he quickly assesses the situation. One) Rebecca and Havoc discussed this and Havoc most likely thought it best if they take Aidan home since his mom and dad were worried; two) him staying the night is Rebecca's idea, which is what she'd probably been talking about over the phone earlier, hence her nervous body language; and three) both of them definitely know about the argument Aidan had with Mustang, but they're acting like they don't for his sake. They're trying to pretend like this is just friends hanging out instead of son avoiding his parents.

They're both good at field work, according to his mom and dad, but they're not so good around kids. Both of them tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves.

"Oh, we could pull mattresses into the living room and watch scary movies!" Ally exclaims excitedly, already taken with the idea. Aidan hates the idea of them coddling him like this, but he can't handle going home yet either. Besides, a few good scary movies will distract him from the events today.

"You better not get too scared and refuse to sleep with the lights off again," Bran warns.

Ally turns pink in the face. "I didn't do that!"

"I'll make some brownies for dessert," Rebecca adds, that bright smile still on her face.

Now Aidan knows for sure that his aunt knows what went down and is trying to make him feel better without him knowing it. She never makes sweets this late because Bran and Ally have awful sweet tooths and will stay up almost all night if they eat anything with too much sugar in it. They've done enough middle of the night cookie jar raids for Aidan to know this about his best friends.

Even though he knows all of this, even though he can see through the charade for what it is, like he isn't sitting at the dinner table in clothes that aren't his with a black eye and a bandaid on his face, Aidan is nothing but indulgent to the adults in his lives. Besides, he's put enough people through hell and worried them today, hasn't he? It's high time he start acting like normal again and stop being such a whiny brat. "Sounds fun, Aunt Becca." He doesn't understand how kids can get into fights with their parents or anyone else so often. It's exhausting.

After dinner is finished, Aidan insists on helping Bran do the dishes since it's his turn for the week. He washes them while Bran dries them, knowing that he prefers that role. Ally helps Rebecca with the brownies, occasionally shooting them glances. The two of them talk about school things that aren't related to the fight, normal stuff, like it's just an average night. There's the JROTC program that Bran has been considering joining and the alchemy club that Aidan has avoided like the plague, much to his friend's confusion. Both of them tried out for the baseball team, though it's a long shot that Aidan will make the cut. Bran is definitely the more athletic of the two of them.

"Maybe you should do boxing," Bran quips after the last dish is put up, the closest he gets to bringing up the fight.

"Ha, very funny," Aidan replies dryly, shoving him to the side.

By the time they're done, Havoc has already transformed the living room into basically an indoor campsite. With the coffee table set in the kitchen, the large mattress from the spare bedroom and Bran's mattress are pushed together on the floor, covered in a multitude of blankets and pillows. He stands in the middle of it, hands on his hips, looking quite proud of his accomplishment. It looks just like they did back when they were little kids. The throwback to his childhood reminds Aidan of his dad calling him by his old nickname "Bug" and his stomach sours.

"Sure this isn't too kiddish for you?" Aidan asks, feeling insecure. After all, they're fifteen and fourteen. It's a little old for sleepovers in the living room set up by their parents, isn't it? He both craves it and dislikes it at the same time.

"Are you kidding me?" Bran responds before launching onto the mattress, throwing pillows into the air. "I get to eat brownies at ten, stay up stupid late, and watch Ally scream herself silly while you point out everything illogical in the plot. This is awesome."

And people say that Aidan has a weird sense of humor.

While Bran rushes to change into pajamas, Aidan attempts to pick out a movie. He generally leaves that decision up to one of them, but Bran insisted. After finding what looks like the scariest one to him, one about a demon-possessed house, he settles back and waits by himself. Havoc gives him a long sideways look, but doesn't say anything, just like he did at school when he and his dad came to pick him up. He can tell that it's more difficult for him to not ask any questions this time because they're outside of the professional setting and in the comforts of home. Aidan doesn't know if he'd answer even if Havoc did ask anything.

Bran returns quickly, ruffling Aidan's still drying hair, and then starts the movie so that he can watch the previews. It's not long before Ally and Rebecca shuffle into the room, Ally holding a plate of brownies and Rebecca balancing three glasses of milk in her hands. Ally's in her pajamas, matching pants and a button up shirt, the kind of pajamas a kid wears when they want to look grownup. Her cheeks look a little pink too, but it could've been from the heat of the oven in the kitchen while they baked.

"Alright, you kids have fun," Havoc announces. "Only bother us if it's a real ghost. Some people have to get up early in the morning."

Ah, that's right. His mom is off for another two days, so it's up to Havoc to pick up Mustang from the mansion. His dad liked to mock-complain about the Fuhrer never getting weekends off. Rebecca kisses Ally on top of the head; Bran ducks the action while Aidan sits still and doesn't fight back. She gives him one last careful look - the kind of look that an adult gives to a child that says, "You can talk to me if you want" - and Aidan smiles blandly back at her - the kind of look he gives when he doesn't want to talk.

It's not rude, he tells himself, if he's smiling.

After Havoc and Rebecca leave them alone, the three kids grab some brownies and milk and settle into their spots on the mattresses. As usual, Aidan is in the middle. Everyone jokes about how they always end up sitting according to age and even height without even realizing it. Once the movie starts though, they all go still and focus on the television.

The movie is, predictably, illogical as all get out. Aidan has to fight the urge to point out things, not wanting to ruin the moment for Ally, who is completely absorbed by it, brownie forgotten half the time while she watches with wide eyes and an open mouth. On more than one occasion she ends up jumping and letting out a squeak, one time sloshing milk all over his arm. Bran laughs more than anything, finding some of the ridiculous stuff funny, especially the demon monster, which makes Ally hush him and throw a pillow at him.

Nonetheless, Aidan finds himself getting lulled by the movie. If he focuses on the movie, he doesn't have to think about what happened in the past. If he watches as Ally and Bran bicker with each other, he doesn't have to think about the fight with his dad. If he pays attention to the way Ally gasps and repeatedly smacks him on the arm when she's nervous or how Bran will laugh or jump at a scary moment and pretend like he didn't, he doesn't have to think about the painful fears haunting him in the back of his mind. The demon on the tv doesn't seem as scary as all that.

Bran picks the second movie, this one about a serial killer stalking some tourists at a beach resort. It's not as scary, in Aidan's opinion, but the scenery is nice. When Aidan says that out loud halfway through the movie, Bran laughs so hard that he snorts milk out of his nose, which sends both Ally and Aidan into a fit of giggles. At some point when the killer is chasing down one of the girls in the movie, Ally goes to grab his hand and grips it tightly, but he winces and jerks away since it was the hand he punched that boy with earlier.

Ally slides away from him, a flash of hurt crossing her face, but then Aidan holds up his messed up hand to let her know why he suddenly pulled away from her and mouths a "sorry". He doesn't want her to think that he pulled away from her because he doesn't want to hold hands with her while she's scared. She smiles shyly at him when he reaches over with his good hand and takes hers, even though it's a somewhat uncomfortable and awkward angle. Soon enough, she's lost in the movie again and squeezes his hand every time she yelps in fear. At this rate, both of his hands are going to be bruised in the morning, but he doesn't mind. The simple comfort fills his belly with relief.

By the time the movie is over, Bran is snoring away, having fallen asleep ten minutes before it ended, a smudge of chocolate smeared on his face near his open mouth. He's rolled himself into a burrito in the corner of the mattresses, leaving plenty of space between him and them. Ally rolls her eyes at him, but then lies back down.

"Did you want to watch another movie?" Aidan asks.

"Do you?"

"I asked you first."

"You're the guest."

"This is your house."

Ally smacks him on the arm again and Aidan gives her a little lopsided smile. She doesn't seem as scared as she was the last time they all watched horror movies, but then he does catch her warily eyeing the dark hallway before looking back up at the ceiling. Aidan lies down next to her, though he leaves a proper amount of space between them so that they aren't touching. Even when they did this when they were kids, he was like that, always needed his space when he slept. He let Ally jump on him and Bran ruffle his hair and stuff all the time, but then he retreated back to his bubble. His mom is the same way, always has been, according to his dad.

She wasn't that way with him and he wasn't that way with her. Growing up, he seemed to always crave Riza's touch, wanting to be held by her, have her attempt to smooth his hair down, cuddling in bed when he had a nightmare, holding her hand whenever they walked somewhere. Not so much anymore obviously, but he doesn't mind it when she hugs him before he leaves for school or the way she'll still fuss over his hair at times.

Thinking about his mom now reminds him of what he's been avoiding for the past three hours and the heavy and sudden feeling of missing her and wanting her around now damn near crushes him. He wonders if she's still awake, sitting on the couch and drinking tea, thinking about him and worrying, or if maybe the flu medicine she's been taking knocked her out after she struggled to stay awake for hours waiting for him. He hates that he worried her, hates that he somehow managed to hurt her when all he wanted to do was protect her. He couldn't stand hearing anyone talk about her that way, not when she did everything for him.

Is he a bad son for all of this? He has to be, he thinks. He yelled at his dad about things he knows that were honestly out of his control, but even then, he still feels mad about the whole thing. His mom was alone for so long, even before Aidan was born. Everyone talked about how his parents had some epic love story, but the fact was that she spent nearly half of her life alone. He remembers those jabs in that article about his dad being a playboy and thinks about his "sisters" at his grandmother's workplace. His grandmother teased his dad about how all his dates were fake, but how many of them weren't? He had to actually date around to make sure people dismissed him as such.

Aidan doesn't even know why he's thinking about all of this now. He's never been mad at Mustang before, not even when he was a kid. The man was distant in public with him, but he wasn't cruel or cold. And he knows, as his mom told him time and time again, that there were a bunch of reasons why Mustang wasn't there all the time. _"It was my choice,"_ she told him back when he was eight. _"It's for the best,"_ when he was three, _"It won't be forever."_

But was it really? She willingly gave herself up, put herself on the chopping block, became a public pariah, all for the sake of one Roy Mustang. Whether or not she was at the top with him when he got there was inconsequential. Him becoming Fuhrer wasn't just for prestige - Aidan always felt proud about the fact that all his parents' goals were created with the purpose of helping people, especially those that couldn't help themselves - but it's hard to ignore all the perks when they're right there in your face.

His mom sacrificed herself for his dad - and for him as well. The beginning of her end could all be tied back to him. How different would her life had been if she hadn't gotten pregnant? She'd probably be a Colonel, still well-respected and looked up to, called the "Hawk's Eye" instead of a "whore". Guilt flares hotly in his mind.

"Aidan…" Ally says quietly, just when he thought she fell asleep. "I overheard Mom talking on the phone while Dad was cleaning you up." Also known as, she was eavesdropping. "Did you get into a fight with your dad?"

He doesn't want to talk about it. He really doesn't want to talk about it. That's all he keeps thinking. If he talks about it, then all his fears are real and they'll swallow him whole like that demon did some guy in the movie.

"Was he mad at you about the fight at school?" Sweet, stubborn Ally - never ready to give up on something. She thinks that anyone will feel better if they talk long enough. She's a lot different than Aidan in that respect, seeing as how he's learned to bottle everything up and hide it away. His parents taught him that. They didn't mean for him to learn it so easily. Hiding what he's thinking has unintentionally hurt his dad more than once, but sometimes Aidan just doesn't want to talk. "You told him what that boy said, right? He deserved more than what you gave him. I was ready to hit him with my tray; I was so mad."

That would've been funny to see, but when Aidan tries to picture it to make himself laugh, he can't. All he can picture is his mom sitting at the kitchen table early one morning, staring down at bills that didn't make any sense to him, and rubbing her face tiredly. That was a few months after her discharge from the military. Savings can only go so far after getting fired from a job and denied any sort of pension or settlement and she wouldn't take money from Mustang no matter how hard he pressed.

"Do you think my parents would have been happier if I'd never been born?"

Ally sits up sharply and ogles him in shock. "What?"

Aidan stares up at the ceiling, unwilling to meet her bright blue eyes. "Would their lives have been easier, better even, if my mom hadn't gotten pregnant with me?"

"That's…" Ally shakes her head. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say."

Biting his lip, Aidan rolls over so that his back is facing her. He can feel her reaching out to pull him back in the way the mattress dips, but she hesitates and pulls back. "The anti-fraternization laws in the military are there for a reason. They're to ensure that there isn't an abuse of power, among other things. Even after my dad became Fuhrer and he and my mom married, he didn't fight to repeal the law, even though it messed with their lives." He sounds like he's reading from a history textbook. It's a defense mechanism that he has yet to outgrow. "They spent years following the rules - and then they broke them. They might never have been caught if my mom didn't get pregnant."

"That's not your fault," Ally tells him fiercely. "Your parents loved each other. Dad says that they loved each other before he even joined their team."

"Love doesn't mean a thing against the law," Aidan points out. "I was… I wasn't planned. They had all these plans for the future, all these dreams - and I wasn't in a single one."

"You were a surprise!"

"I was a _mistake_."

Ally's lip trembles in the same way her mom's did earlier, like she's torn between crying or yelling. He doesn't want either of them. He hates it when she's mad at him and even more when she cries. He doesn't want to make her cry. He probably made his mom cry tonight, maybe even his dad. God, did he really say all those awful things to his dad?

"You take that back, Aidan Mustang," Ally snaps.

Aidan's mouth twists into a sneer and he's grateful that Ally can't see his face right now. She would've yelled at him then. She really hates it when he makes that look. "I'm sure they wondered at least once if they could do the same thing with me when Mom was pregnant."

"Oh, that's awful!" Ally cries out. "You don't really think that, do you?"

But now it's out in the open and it's all he can think about. He said it out loud. Cat's out of the bag, can of worms has been opened, and all his fears and thoughts are spilling out of him like blood from knife to an artery. "The one thing that could've ruined all of their goals - nearly fifteen years of planning - was being found out. And it's pretty damn hard to hide a kid, especially when he pops out looking exactly like the one man you're not supposed to sleep with." He laughs mirthlessly. "I didn't even have the decency of looking like my mom."

"Like you had a choice in that?" Ally demands. "Aidan, stop being a dummy. Your mom and dad are happier with you here. I'm happier with you here. What if I had to deal with that" - she jabs a finger in Bran's snoring direction - "all by myself, huh?"

He really appreciate her attempt at humor - no, really, he's grateful - but he can't find it in him to laugh. His parents would've been better off without him. They wouldn't have struggled so much. They could've still been together in private and had fun and things would've been so much easier. It wouldn't have been nearly as stressful. They would never have worried about whether or not all their plans were for naught - that everything they worked for since they were barely into their twenties were ruined by a tiny, little mistake. His mother wouldn't have had to leave the career she built her life upon and his dad never would've had to hurt himself and his mom like that.

"I know they both love me," Aidan bursts out, tears pricking at his eyes again for the second time today. "I know my dad loves Mom and would do anything for us - did everything for us that he could in the situation without compromising their goals or himself." He knows - he really does - but it doesn't make those memories hurt any less. "But I keep thinking their lives would've been so much better if I hadn't been born. I messed up all their plans. Mom lost her career because of me and almost my dad. I don't think he would've been able to forgive himself if he couldn't live up to that promise he made my mom. And it would've been because of me, some dumb, worthless, unplanned baby. I can't be worth that much. I can't."

He wanted so badly to blame everything on his dad earlier because it was less painful and scary than blaming himself. He knows that now. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows that all this babbling is ridiculous. It's childish self-centered thinking that most kids tend to grow out of by the time they hit ten. But all those old memories swarm over him now, reminding him of how he felt then but couldn't quite figure out.

A memory of when he was three years-old comes back to him, one of his first memories ever. It was a rainy night. They went to the movies. When they came out, giggling and smiling as he snacked on a sucker, his mom came to a sudden stop as her eyes caught something. Aidan didn't know what she was looking at, but caught a glimpse of a familiar black coat standing at the ticket counter, heard a familiar laugh, one that registered as "Dad-but-not-Dad" in his mind, and then there was General Roy Mustang, a pretty girl at his side, laughing as well.

His mom moved to step toward him and then she spun in the opposite direction and carried him into the bathroom even though he just went. She was breathing heavily, eyes closed, but then opened them and smiled at him when he put a sticky hand on her face. _"Can he be my dad at the movies?"_ he asked. Mustang could be dad at their home or dad at his home if his mom ever took him there, but not anywhere else, so probably not the movies either.

The date wasn't real, of course, just a ploy on their part to keep things hidden a little longer, but that didn't mean that it hadn't hurt her to see it. She couldn't be that woman standing next to him, laughing at his joke, holding his hand. And it was because of the little boy she was holding in her arms.

Silence drifted over them the second he stopped talking. He can't bear to look at Ally, curling in on himself on his side. Now she knows just how weak he is, how scared, how utterly useless he feels. It's dumb - it's all so dumb - but now that it's all out, he can't hide it anymore. He doesn't like not being able to hide from things. It makes him feel too vulnerable and open for attack.

And Ally, well, there's nothing in the world that has managed to knock her speechless, until this very moment. This is the girl that can ramble on for hours at a time about multiple subjects. She can talk until her lips go blue. She always has something to say, even if it's not the right or best thing to say, especially if it gets her into more trouble. She fights and argues and hates to back down or lose at anything. She always likes to get the last say, always the one to get the last goodbye on the phone or anywhere else. In this moment though, she is completely silent. Aidan finds it kind of sad that he's the one that did that to her first.

Aidan flinches when he feels Ally sidle up behind him and tenses up when she wraps a thin arm around him. Her hand finds one of his balled up in a fist and she gently pries it open so that she can slip her fingers into his. Once more it's his bad hand, but she's careful this time and the pain fades away. He's surprised though when she presses her face into his back and he feels hot tears spill onto his shirt. She decided not to yell at him then.

"You're so stupid," Ally says in between sniffling, her voice muffled in his shirt.

"But everyone says I'm so smart," Aidan responds. Finally, he rolls over and shifts so that he's lying on his back, their hands resting between each other, still together, while she leans her head against his arm.

"If you ever say anything like that again, I'll punch you," Ally tells him, and he believes it. Actually makes him smile a little this time. "You're not a mistake, maybe an accident, but accidents aren't always bad. Some are good."

Aidan rolls his eyes. "Like what?"

"I wasn't planned either," Ally points out. "Am I a bad accident?"

"Your birth didn't nearly ruin over a decade's worth of planning to help rebuild the infrastructure of a corrupt government."

Ally pulls her head away to glare at him. "Well, it didn't, did it? Your dad's the biggest man in the country and is fixing the State Alchemist Program. Your mom is still his bodyguard. They're happily married and live together and are almost as cheesy as my parents. They have you. Yeah, those first few years really sucked and people got hurt, but it all worked out in the end, right?"

"When you put it like that…" Aidan sighs.

"I'm always right," Ally harrumphs. "You should know that by now."

She nuzzles up against him again and closes her eyes, letting him know that she's done with the conversation. As far as she's concerned, she won. Definitely her mother's daughter. Aidan stares up at the ceiling again. A good accident. Well, it sounds better than a mistake, right?

He's still kind of mad at his dad and he's definitely mad at himself, but he knows that he'll figure it out in time. That's all he needs - time to think. This whole day has been a whirlwind of not being able to think straight. It's probably why he's been such a mess. He's been sitting down, lost in his thoughts, but unable to actually get anywhere, stuck running in the same circle of thought over and over again. He wonders if his dad ever felt like that when he was alone at his home while his mom and Aidan were at theirs. Trying to think of solutions, of anything to make it better or make sense of things, but only coming up with the same pitiful conclusions.

His dad. Aidan closes his eyes. It's going to hurt like hell seeing him again. Hopefully his mom is asleep since she's sick, but he knows for a fact that his dad is still awake. They have the same sleep tendencies, after all. As long as his brain is running - and it is most definitely running rampant on all the things Aidan flung in his face earlier - then he won't be able to sleep. He hopes his mom is at least sleeping at his side to give him some comfort. He likes his privacy, especially when he's upset, but sometimes it helps to not be alone.

It takes almost another hour for Aidan to fall asleep, even though both Ally and Bran are out like lights, but when his brain finally gives him some relief and he drifts off, he's still holding onto Ally's hand.


	4. the smallest words (part 3)

**Author's Notes:** Okay, so I know I said that there were only two parts to this, but I unintentionally lied. I didn't plan on writing a third, but then it was just begging for it and it didn't feel concluded to me. I have to end on a happy note with this AU and it was really important to me that Aidan speak with both Riza and Roy. Thanks again to **stupidsexymustang** for letting me use her Havolina kids!

* * *

 **we'll give the world to you**  
 _the smallest words_

* * *

The morning is as unforgiving as Aidan is. He wakes up the second the sun begins to light up the living room, despite having fallen asleep a mere five hours before, wide awake all things considered. Of course, no one else in the house is awake, even though he was the last to drift off, and so Aidan spends a few minutes contemplating on whether or not to try falling back asleep. It's sorry attempt. He knows his own sleeping patterns and so falling asleep is out of the question, especially as his mind begins to run again.

Extricating himself from Ally is difficult, considering that she's somehow not only to get his hand in a death grip but wrap herself around him. She gets cold when she sleeps and tries to find the easiest way to get warm. Apparently the son of the Flame Alchemist is a natural heater. Aidan manages to separate himself from her without waking her up and she tightly grips onto his pillow as he tiptoes off the mattress. After making sure she's properly covered with the blanket, he leaves the living room in search of his clothes from the previous night. They're in the dryer, just as he suspected Rebecca would put them, and he hastily switches Bran's clothes for his own, putting the clothes he wore last night in a laundry bin.

Many people have remarked on what an excellent houseguest Aidan is. He's so terribly polite, perhaps in fear that a person will reject him if he steps out of line. Aidan knows why that feeling comes over him now. He was rejected so often before in his childhood. He just wanted to make his mom happy.

By the time Uncle Havoc stumbles to the front door in full uniform, grumbling under his breath about the ridiculous hours the Fuhrer has to put in, Aidan is already sitting patiently by the door on top of a chest filled with winter coats. Havoc stops when he sees the young boy waiting for him, his hands dropping from fixing up his military jacket.

"Can I ride with you?" Aidan asks flatly, eyes focused on the front door rug.

Havoc smiles gamely. "Sure thing, bud. I'll get your bike back to you tonight."

Aidan shrugs his shoulders in response, something that is not common with him. His mom taught him not to shrug his shoulders - said that it was rude - but he'll blame the early morning hours on it. No one likes to talk first thing in the morning, especially not after so little sleep. He follows Havoc out of the house without speaking and tries to think about anything besides seeing his mom and dad again. Ally will be mad at him for leaving without saying goodbye; Bran will make a joke about his weird sleep hours. Aunt Rebecca will most likely fret all day when Havoc tells her that Aidan was awake and waiting for him to leave for work.

"You know, you've always been a quiet kid, lost in that head of yours," Havoc says during the drive, "but this has to be a record."

"I've got a lot to think about," Aidan mumbles.

Havoc side-eyes him for a second before returning his attention to the road. "Wouldn't have anything to do with the fight you got into with your dad, does it?"

Biting his lip, Aidan focuses as hard as he can on everything outside of the car. "What does it matter to you?"

"Well, for one, I'm the one that has to deal with your dad all day," Havoc explains, like it's no big deal. That's the great thing about him and Bran: so much awful shit can be going down and they'll still somehow find a way to make a joke about it. Aidan is almost certain that half the reason he hasn't spiraled in some serious mental meltdown is because of Bran's sense of humor. His brain isn't wired for stuff like that. "Most importantly though, leader of this country be damned, I'm worried about _you_. Yeah, you act like nothing gets to you, but there's bound to be something that does."

"I'm fine," Aidan replies in that same flat tone as before.

Letting out a sigh, Havoc shakes his head. "God, you're so much like Riza sometimes that it drives me mad."

Not knowing what to think of that - whether to take it as an insult, compliment, or something else altogether - Aidan keeps his mouth shut. The rest of the car ride is spent in silence. Havoc never turns the radio on and Aidan stares out the window without thinking. He doesn't want to think. He's tired. If he thinks, he might open up and he doesn't want to do that. When the mansion rolls into view and they pass through the security gate, his heart begins to race and he starts to feel sick to his stomach, but he says nothing. Havoc glances at him, but wisely says nothing. Aidan doesn't know if he could speak without throwing up, to be honest.

"Well, we're here," Havoc says when they park. "I usually go in to meet your father…"

Aidan's mouth is dry. He doesn't want to see his father. Fiddling with the handle, he contemplates any way he can avoid the man, but by the time he comes up with something, he raises his eyes and sees his father striding towards the car. Panic latches onto his mind. He has to escape. His heart leaps into his throat. The windows are tinted, so his father can't see him, but Aidan can see him. His steps, usually proud and sure, are short and halting. He doesn't want to get in the car. His eyes are towards the ground, not looking ahead. His hands are in his pockets, such a sign of immaturity that it would've made Aidan snort otherwise.

His father didn't sleep a wink last night.

They are all signs that he should be forgiven, and yet Aidan feels a spark of anger towards the man. So he's okay to look shameful and guilty now but not then? Of course - it'll look good on him now. It's a stupid thought, one that Aidan knows is absurd, and yet he feels it anyways and doesn't let it go. When he gets out of the car, he freezes and Mustang halts and stares at him with wide, startled and pleading eyes.

 _Forgive me,_ his dark eyes seem to say.

Aidan can't - he can't forgive him, not right now - just as he can't forgive himself. And so he darts past his father, running into the house at full speed, and yells at himself not to look back. If he looks back, he'll stop. And if he stops, god, he doesn't know. He'll run into his dad's arms, beg for forgiveness, beg for attention, beg for something, and he doesn't want that. He's still mad and confused and confused about being mad and mad about being confused. He stumbles into the house and slams the door behind him, breathing heavily and scared out of his mind.

Fourteen years-old and he can't even face his father. How childish.

Heart pounding in his chest, Aidan stands in the parlor awkwardly, not knowing whether to hide in his bedroom or seek out his mom. He shouldn't bother her, but he both wants her and doesn't. After all, he's acting like a baby. He's too old to want the comfort of his mother, isn't he? And yet instead of going to his bedroom, he finds himself standing in front of his parents' bedroom door, hand poised to knock on it.

 _Go away,_ a nasty voice in his head tells him. _She doesn't want to see you, the face of everything that went wrong in her life._

Before he can run away though, the door opens and he comes face-to-face with his mom, as if she could sense him standing outside her bedroom, just as she always seemed to know when he was a toddler. He stares up at her without a single thing to say on his mind. She looks down at him somewhat blankly, the way he does when he's trying to hide how he feels. And then it all opens up. He sees her pain, her fear, but most importantly, her unquestionable love and he lets her gather him into her arms, wrapping herself around him and letting him press his face into the collar of her bathrobe and close his eyes to fight against the tears.

"You're almost as tall as me now," his mom says in a tight voice. "When did you get so big?"

"I don't feel big," Aidan mutters into her robe.

His mom pulls back and holds him by his shoulders, smiling warmly at him. "You have the biggest heart and that's one of the best things about you." She pulls one hand away so that she can smooth down his hair, something that she does when she's trying to sooth herself. It makes her feel like she's doing something, paying special attention to him, when she's upset. It's funny because both he and his dad do the same thing when they're nervous. "It's also one of your flaws. Your father has the same problem."

Without meaning to, Aidan jerks away from her, not hard, but the action startles his mom into letting him go. "I don't want to be like him," he says. "I want to be like you."

"And you are," his mom tells him, "maybe a little too much. But you have some of your dad in you as well."

He wants to argue and prove her wrong - and then he doesn't. Arguing with his mom right now sounds like the very last thing in the world that he wants to do. Instead, he bites his lip and throws his arms around her again, soaking up all the comfort of her touch. She loves him, she loves him, she loves him. He repeats the words in his head over and over again. He might not have known a lot of things growing up or understood much of what was happening between her and his dad, but Aidan always knew that.

"I'm sorry." Aidan closes his eyes again and clutches the back of her robe. She holds him tightly, no matter how weak the flu has made her feel over the past few days. "I'm so sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to upset or scare you. I shouldn't have run out like that last night. I shouldn't have gotten into a fight at school." He doesn't say that he shouldn't have said such terrible things to his father. He's not ready for that. "I'm sorry."

"You're here and safe now," his mom sighs into his hair. "That's all that matters." For now, at least. Later on, when the dust has settled, punishment will get handed down to him. He did break some pretty fundamental and serious rules, after all. Right now though, what he needs is reassurance and guidance. He didn't know if he could handle her being outwardly disappointed in him in this moment. "But I would like to know why you punched that boy. No one knows. Not even Bran or Ally would tell their parents."

Pulling away, slower this time, Aidan wipes at his face. No tears came this time, but it was a close call. He doesn't want to cry in front of his mom. It would only serve to scare and upset her. "He called you a whore."

Out of everything that Aidan is expecting, his mom laughing is not one of them. He blinks at her in confusion while she full on laughs and shakes her head at him. "Oh, you silly, sweet boy." She kisses him on the crown of his head. He doesn't know what's so funny. He certainly wasn't laughing when that boy insulted her like that and yet she's acting like it's the funniest thing she's heard all week. "Still trying to protect me after all these years?"

"He didn't know what he was talking about!" Aidan exclaims. "He slandered your name and laughed about it right in my face. And then he called Ally a whore! Well, that was after I punched him, but still."

The smile is back on her face as she gives him a knowing look. "You're so protective. Who protects you?"

"You do," Aidan points out. "You always have. But no one ever protects you. For the first four years of my life, you did everything on your own and you never complained even when it was too much."

"It was never too much," his mother tells him softly. "I had you. That was enough for me."

Aidan's head drops. "I'm not worth everything that happened to you."

When his mom puts a finger under his chin to force him to look up at her, there is a fierceness in her amber eyes that makes him suck in a gasp of air. "Listen to me: You are worth everything I went through and more. I don't regret what happened to me for a second. I'd do it all again, if only to see watch you grow up, see you smile, hear you laugh. Do you understand?"

Biting his lip, he nods his head. He wants so desperately to believe her. The way she's looking at him right now leaves no room for arguments or doubts. He trusts her, always has. As a kid, she could've told him that the sky was green and he would've believed her. His mom doesn't lie to him. Although he doesn't remember it himself, back when she first told him that he couldn't call Mustang "dad" anymore, he apparently didn't ask questions and accepted it, despite being so young. His mom told him, so he did it. It was a little harder to believe that Mustang still loved him, but she told him that too, and so he believed that as well as best as he could.

Why is it so difficult for him to believe it now that he's older?

"The only thing I regret is that you were hurt in the process," his mom says, her voice still firm, but her eyes are tinged with sadness now. "Roy and I have a particular high tolerance for pain and so it didn't hurt as much as it could have being kept apart. But keeping you away from your father, forcing you to live in such a complicated world…" She closes her eyes. "It wasn't fair and it hurt you."

"It doesn't matt-"

"Yes, Aidan," his mom interrupts him, opening her eyes and reaching out to hold his face in her hands. "Yes it does. You matter more to me than anything else. I'm allowed to be selfish about that, I think." The smile on her face is sad and a little misplaced. He doesn't like it. He never wants to see her look like this again, so sad and tired and still somehow content. It makes no sense. "We told ourselves that our suffering didn't matter in light of the greater good. But it's harder to justify when it's your own child that is suffering. For that, I can never forgive myself."

Aidan finds himself softening, like his body is going limp after being tense for so long. "Mom…" He doesn't want her to hurt. She did everything she could for him and more. It's not her fault. And it isn't his. Things were in motion long before he was even conceived. It's difficult to accept things though when there is no blame to lay at someone's feet. "Things were weird and sometimes it was hard - but I was never unhappy. You always made sure that I had a happy childhood and that I knew I was loved."

Her hands face fall away from his face, but despite any guilt she feels, she doesn't look away from him. She's better at facing her fears than he is. "Trust me, it wasn't easy, especially for your father. He's good at hiding how he feels, but it devastated him to be apart from you, from us. He wanted to be there more than anything, but I wouldn't let him, partially because of our goals and then out of stubbornness and pride. Don't blame him for my decisions."

"Why did he get all he wanted while you had everything taken away from you?" Aidan asks. "What's so important about him that you had to sacrifice everything?"

His mom hums thoughtfully. "He's a better politician than me. He can get things done that I never could. I wanted to rebuild this country and hope for a better future - and he could offer that." She makes it sound so simple. At the end of the day, her career in the military was to help him, but by helping him, she was also able to accomplish her own desires and see her dreams come to fruition. Then, she folds her arms across her chest and gives him a look. "Besides, I didn't have everything taken away from me. From where I'm standing, I got everything I wanted and more."

"But-"

"There were some awful nights, a lot of bumps in the road, and more rough patches than I can count," his mom tells him, "but look at where we are. Roy is exactly where we fought for him to be and the country is healing and mending relations with neighboring countries." She lets out a little laugh. "I'm married to a man I loved in secret for far too long to be reasonable and I have a brilliant, kind, if not very stubborn son." Aidan blushes and skirts his eyes from her. He doesn't know why he feels embarrassed by his mom's compliments, maybe because he doesn't feel like he deserves them after yesterday. "You're right that I didn't plan on having a child and it certainly made things a lot more complicated than they already were - but some of the best things in life are unexpected."

"That's what Ally said," Aidan grumbles under his breath.

"You should probably listen to her then," his mom informs him. "She's a smart girl."

His mom doesn't regret him. She loves him. She's not mad at him. She loves him. She's grateful for him. She doesn't regret him. Aidan keeps telling himself that, the words circling around in his head like a merry-go-round. He can get through this. A few more hours of considering all of this and he'll be able to move past these insecurities or at least he hopes so. He doesn't like not being sure about things. It makes his imagination run wild and while that's typically a good thing, sometimes it isn't.

"You need to talk to your father when he gets home," his mom says abruptly. "He was up all night worrying."

Panic shoots through Aidan's chest. "I don't want to talk to him."

His mom frowns. "Aidan-"

"No." Aidan shakes his head. "I _can't_ -"

"You said a lot of awful things," his mom points out, not meanly. She isn't saying anything that isn't true. He did say a lot of hurtful things to his father yesterday. He meant for them to be hurtful. He doesn't say things like that without them being on purpose. "I haven't seen him so broken since…" She drifts off, either unable to recall a time or not wanting to divulge the truth. She doesn't lie to him, but she does omit the truth occasionally. He's certain that there's a good bit about his parents' intertwined history that he doesn't know. "You two need to talk."

"I don't see why," Aidan replies stubbornly. "I didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"Just because it's true doesn't mean that it's right," his mom says. "You want to blame someone for your father not being there? Then you can blame me. I was alone by my own choice. I hurt you, not your father."

"You didn't hurt me," Aidan says, a horrified feeling settling in his gut. She can't possibly think that, can she? Not after all she did for him.

"And your father didn't hurt me. He did everything in his power to protect the both of us." His mom places a hand on her heart. "For me, please, talk with him. He's terrified that you're going to hate him forever - and for something that isn't his fault."

Aidan clenches his fists at his side to keep himself from pulling at his hair. He doesn't want to talk with his dad - doesn't even want to look at him - but it's for a myriad of reasons. He's mad and it's easy to be mad at a man that can't even defend himself, but he's also ashamed of himself. That horrified feeling stirs uncomfortably inside of him. He doesn't want his mom believing that she hurt him and is ultimately to blame for the things that Aidan yelled at his father. He doesn't want her to be upset. Knowing that he did upset her makes him ashamed enough as it is.

And perhaps that stubborn part of him - the part that wants to keep blaming Mustang - is just a cover for what he's really feeling. Guilt at having purposely said remarks that he knew would cut his father. He knew that every word would act like a knife and he said them anyways - he said them with the specific intent to hurt him. And that's not the kind of person he is. That's truly awful and mean. Ally would say that it isn't like him at all. He's not a mean person. He's supposed to be good. He's supposed to be the nice one that never hurts anyone's feelings.

But my god, when he's hurting and angry, Aidan really knows how to tear someone down to size with just words and that's not good at all. It's utterly shameful.

"I can't talk to him," Aidan tells her, guilt swallowing him whole. Before his mom can protest, he turns away from her and rushes to the safety of his bedroom. He locks the door, something he's never done before, and then crawls into his bed, hiding under the blanket and pillows. Only then does he feel safe and like he can breathe again. He's alone. He's good at being alone. It helps him recharge and think straight.

Except instead of feeling good or relaxed, Aidan only manages to feel worse, loneliness and shame creeping up on him like shadow monsters, digging their painful claws into him. He thinks of his mother's sad face and it hurts. He thinks of his father's pleading eyes and it fucking _hurts_. Why does he get to feel guilty when he got everything? Why does Aidan feel guilty for just saying what the two of them were both thinking?

They all got what they wanted in the end, but at what cost? Does the end justify the means? And is there really anyone to blame?

Just thinking of all this stuff is exhausting and Aidan falls into a fitful sleep. He can't think straight when he's so tired and worked up like this.

He doesn't leave his bedroom the entire day, not even after waking up. His mom knocks on his door about dinner since he slept through lunch, but he doesn't have the energy in him to respond. Instead, he pretends to be asleep and listens as she sighs and sets his plate of food down outside his door. The only reason he eats is because he knows that he'll get sick if he doesn't, but he barely notices the food. He barely notices anything, to be honest. For once, he tries not to think about things. Maybe if he can ignore everything, it'll all go away.

The next few days are awkward at best. There's no way he can get away with hiding in his bedroom for a second day in a row without panicking his mom. Besides, he needs to shower. Luckily the Fuhrer's mansion is large enough where he can avoid seeing his father. He is able to dodge the man and slip around the house without coming face-to-face with him, something that he is both grateful for and agitated about. Just from watching his father, Aidan can't tell how his dad feels at having not confronted Aidan yet either. He looks both upset with Aidan avoiding him and relieved that he doesn't have to face his fears.

Things would have been easier if Aidan was able to go to school, but the out of school suspension hangs over his head like a curse. There is no distraction from classes or his friends. Luckily both his dad and mom have to go to work and leave the Fuhrer's mansion, leaving him with Breda and the regular guards that circulate the place. At least he is able to play a few games of shogi with Breda, who taught him the game when he was five. Breda definitely doesn't bring up the fight between Aidan and Mustang, although he does offer some fighting pointers.

When his parents return, Havoc also brings in Aidan's schoolwork that was given to Bran. Aidan is able to hole himself up in his room or the study under the guise of doing his work while he's really using it as an excuse to hide. Ally and Bran come over once, but because he's grounded, Aidan can't go out to do anything with them. They hang around for a few hours, Aidan smiling and laughing and joking around and not talking about anything related to his father. Ally side-eyes him for a while, not believing him, but by the time she leaves, she hugs him and smiles real big, the kind of smile that makes Aidan think that things might be better.

It's near the end of the week though while he's on the phone with Bran when his best friend asks, "So have you talked to your dad yet?"

Aidan's heart drops into the pit of his stomach. He thought he was doing better - he thought that things were fine and he was starting to get over it - but with a simple question, he's reminded that he's most certainly not good. Even worse is that he knows that he can't avoid it for any longer. At this point, he's just lying to himself.

"I overheard Mustang talking to Dad about it," Bran tells him. "He seems pretty beaten up." Of course he does. Aidan feels the same damn way. "Probably not the best way for the Fuhrer to feel during tense negotiations with Drachma."

It takes a surprising amount of willpower not to slam the phone down on the receiver. "Right - because his feelings are the most important thing that matters."

"Well, he _is_ the leader of our country and military," Bran points out, "and I don't know about you, but I'm not thrilled over the idea of getting into a war."

Aidan pulls the phone away from his ear and gives it an offended look, as if Bran can actually see his face. "Since when did you get into politics?"

"Politics is kind of our families' thing," Bran says. It's more so of Aidan's family's thing, considering his father does run the country, but whether Uncle Havoc likes politics or not, he's often privy to information that most soldiers could only dream of, despite not being a General. "Look; I know it's not any of my business and I'm not here to tell you what to do. But you need to talk to your dad."

"I can't," Aidan says, the misery plain in his voice. By now, it's not that he doesn't want to talk to his father; he just doesn't think he can. This whole mess has gone a lot farther than he anticipated and now he's just...humiliated. Despite his short words with Bran just moments ago, Aidan isn't mad at his dad anymore, but he stubbornly held out for so long that he's afraid that things can't go back to the way they were. What if his _dad_ is mad at _him_ now?

"Don't be such a chicken," Bran tells him. "Where's the guy that socked that kid in the face?"

"Grounded and suspended from school, hiding in his bedroom," Aidan answers flatly.

Bran laughs. "You know what Ally would say, right?"

"That I'm being an idiot."

"Damn straight you are." Bran isn't known for the type of comfort that involves coddling. He couldn't do the same thing as Ally did the night Aidan ran away to their house. But it's Bran's somewhat teasing prodding that Aidan needs to get crawling out of his hole. "Now go talk to your dad. It's not just killing him. If I know you - and I know you - this is eating away at you."

Of course Bran is entirely correct about that assumption. It's been eating at Aidan all week, causing his significant stress and making him feel sick just when he thinks he's pushed everything away. He knows that he's lost some weight as well since he's only been eating off and on, something that his mom will fret about. He's skinny as it is. He needs to get this over with. A week of avoiding all his problems is far too long. It's not like him. He likes it when things are straightforward and there's no beating around the bush. It makes sense that doing that himself would make him a miserable little snot.

After saying their goodbyes, Aidan hangs up the phone and stares down at it for a minute. Dinner will be soon. He could go down there and try to face both his parents. Maybe he could just start talking like everything is normal and things will slowly fall back into place without him having to talk directly to his father about last week. That's a pipe dream that he only entertains for a second. No way in hell is his mom going to let him get away with that and his dad deserves more than that.

When all is said and done, his father also suffered alone during those trying times and he's probably doing the same thing now. Some people are gluttons for punishment when they think they deserve it and Aidan knows that his father honestly thinks he deserves it. Both of his parents do. They're so self-righteous. It's no wonder where he got that from.

Aidan knows his dad, just like his mom knows him, and so it's easy for him to find his father despite there being so many rooms and corridors in the Fuhrer's mansion. His dad is in the study, knee deep in paperwork and yet unable to focus. He's got a lot of his plate and Aidan feels something terrible over adding to it. He doesn't deserve that. He's doing - and did - the best that he can. Sitting at the desk, his father has his head in his hands, a bundle of papers in front of him, but Aidan can tell that he isn't actually reading them. For one, his eyes are closed, but he's not sleeping either. He's thinking - and not about work.

For what feels like hours, Aidan stands in the room quietly, wringing his hands. His dad hasn't noticed him yet. He liked to joke that Aidan had inherited his mom's ability to sneak up on people. Aidan remembers playing games of sneaking around the house as silently as possible, sometimes with his dad. His mom always won.

Taking a deep breath, Aidan just goes for it, knowing that if he doesn't say anything now, he'll run back to his bedroom again. "Hey, Dad."

His dad, predictably, startles and jumps to his feet, sending some paperwork flying. Aidan cringes and gives his dad a sheepish smile in an attempt to apologize for making him jump. His dad ignores the paperwork and pretends that it didn't happen. Both of them end up looking at each other with the same expression. The only problem is that his dad doesn't seem to know what to say. The smile fades from his face and the guilt becomes more apparent in his eyes. His dad isn't angry with him. No, Aidan can tell, he's angry with himself.

Like father like son, right? And people said that he was all his mom.

Aidan takes a step forward. "I just wanted to say-"

"You were right," his dad interrupts him. "Not about you being a mistake or inconvenience - I could not be more proud to have you as my son - but about me being a selfish coward. You were right."

Blinking in surprise, Aidan slowly shakes his head. "No, I was being dumb and childish. I know that."

"I let your mother take the fall for me - and I didn't even fight it." His voice is so devoid of emotion that it kind of scares Aidan. His father is passionate, even when he's cold and angry. To have nothing be there… "Truth be told, I was kind of relieved when we were found out. I didn't have to hide anymore. Things came to a pass. I could move on and I...I used your mother. Oh, she came up with the idea, but we both knew it was our only choice. I argued, knowing full well that I'd never convince her otherwise. I didn't even bother trying to come up with another plan."

 _It was my choice,_ his mother's voice rings in his head in perfect clarity. Aidan knows all about choices. He's pretty good at making people convinced that they came up with their own ideas as well, like when he somehow manages to get him, Bran, and Ally out of trouble or at least with a lighter punishment. His mom would be furious with the both of them if she knew what Mustang is implying and Aidan is capable of believing.

"I didn't protect her and I wasn't there for you," his father says, running his hands through his hair. His hands aren't gloved. "I can spend the rest of my life trying to make up for that, but it doesn't change that I did those things - and it was so easy for me. I didn't have to do anything while Riza...while your mother did _everything_ on her own." He lets out a shaky, callous laugh. "I keep wondering how she can even stand to look at me after I that I've done to hurt her. It's only natural for you to be mad at me for what I did. You have every right to hate me. There are days when I do."

Aidan suddenly recalls the messy state of the living room every time he crept through the house while trying to avoid his dad. It was especially difficult to do at night if he ever got hungry or thirsty because his dad seemed to always be either in the living room area or his study. He connects the dots quickly. His father, out of some twisted guilt, has been sleeping on the couch. He probably feels too ashamed to share a bed with his mom, like he doesn't deserve her. For the past week, all of them have been suffering alone. Again. Just like they did before.

Damn, they really are a bunch of emotional masochists and even bigger idiots than Aidan thought.

He doesn't think of what he can say to make things better. Sometimes words don't matter much, even though they're what started things in the first place. Instead, he strides forward, the confidence entirely forced, and throws his arms around his dad in a fierce hug. His dad tenses at first, as if unsure that Aidan is really hugging him or he's just imagining things. Aidan closes his eyes and hugs him tighter until slowly but surely his dad returns the gesture. His dad isn't a hugger, hasn't been for as long as Aidan can remember, and Aidan has always gravitated towards his mom for such physical comfort, but the times they have hugged have meant a lot to the both of them.

"I don't hate you; I could _never_ hate you," Aidan tells him hotly. "I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. I was just...acting like a brat. I was scared and confused and upset and I acted out."

His father takes a shuddering breath. "It was the truth."

"Maybe, but it was a twisted version of it." Aidan pulls away, one hand dropping to his side as he rubs the back of his neck with the other. "There wasn't another way; if there had been, I know you would've found it. And it's not like you didn't suffer as well, just in a different way. Mom at least had me; you had no one. You were forced to watch from the outside as you were excluded. I should've thought of that."

His dad falls back into his seat. "It was so hard, watching you two and not being able to do...anything. Doing something as simple as giving you a ride on my shoulders would've made me happy, but instead, I had to watch as Riza carried you or even Havoc…" His dad sighs and shook his head. "It sounds ridiculous now, but I used to get so damn jealous of Havoc whenever I saw him playing with his son, but especially you. I'd sit there and think, 'Why can't I do that? Why does he get to and not me?' Like some sort of petulant child."

Aidan laughs, even though it's not really a laughing matter. He can't help himself though, not even when his dad gives him a strange look. "I used to think the same thing, except about Bran. 'He gets to play with his dad at work. Why can't I?' I'd throw my typical fit at home afterwards - sit in the living room and play with the toy cars you got me, refuse to speak a word." He rolls his eyes. "I don't know how mom has dealt with either of us all these years."

A small smile appears on his dad's face. "She's a good person - and you're an incredible kid. You were so young and yet you handled things better than I think either of us."

"It wasn't always easy," Aidan admits.

"No, it wasn't," his father sighs.

"But it was worth it, right?" Aidan insists. There's hope in his dad's eyes. He's been waiting and dreaming all week that this would happen. It's not funny in the slightest, but Aidan feels the same way. He was terrified that his father would be mad at him and would confirm all of his fears. "Everything worked out in the end. The best things in life are fought for. You can't gain anything-"

"-without giving something in return." The lopsided smile on his dad's face broadens and he pulls Aidan into another hug.

They needed this, he thinks. A part of his dad would always fear that Aidan resented him for the past just as a part of Aidan would always fear that his parents regretted him. Both were childish and unfounded fears, but Aidan has found in his experience that many fears aren't entirely logical. An invisible barrier between them that Aidan never noticed before is shattered and he allows his dad to hug him like his mom normally would.

A heavy weight lifts from Aidan's chest and he feels like he can breathe again, but more importantly, he feels like something has shifted between him and his father, an understanding that wasn't there before. He thinks of the few alchemy textbooks that he has tucked underneath his bed and the nights he's spent leafing through his dad's old books when he knows his parents are asleep.

Aidan is his mother's son, but he is also his father's as well.


	5. fire leaves a confession

Author's Notes: Someone asked me about this yesterday on tumblr and I've actually been thinking about this for a while. During the events of the last three inter-connected one-shots in this series (The Smallest Words), Aidan does not know about the truth surrounding Riza's tattoo and the burns on her back. In light of me thinking about it so much, I accidentally wrote this because I could not stop thinking about it and I made myself sad. How do you explain something as horrific as that to a child without outright lying?

* * *

 **we'll give the world to you  
** _fire leaves a confession_

* * *

Keeping secrets had always been one of Riza's strengths. People knew that if they confided in her, she wouldn't tell a soul, even if it was something silly or unimportant. She learned to harbor secrets that throbbed dully in her heart as a child, smiling when she was hurting or biting her tongue instead of lashing out. It made it easier to keep things to herself if she told herself that it was a secret.

Roy would say that was lying, but Riza didn't like to call it that. Lying by omission was such a tricky term, so she told herself that she was merely keeping secrets. Playing things close to the vest, as it were. She was a painfully private person, always had been and always would be, so of course she fell in love with a man that thrust himself into the spotlight more often than not. It only made sense that she would find herself in a secret relationship with an even bigger secret between them.

One of these days, Riza would see the irony in all of this, but for right now, she was a bit tired of keeping secrets, especially when one of the was the most important part of her life.

At just a month over three years-old, Aidan was quite possibly the worst kept secret in Amestris. How anyone could look at him and not know who fathered him was beyond Riza. It was a miracle that she and Roy hadn't been found out yet. The only reason was because everyone that knew the one hundred percent truth were keeping their mouths shut. Oh, everyone had to know, especially Roy's enemies in the military, but no one had exact proof and could only make conjectures. Sure, they were right in their accusations, but until someone fessed up, that's all they were.

After a long, terse day at work in which General Moore showed up and made some colorful suggestions concerning Roy's "professional relationship" with his adjutant, all Riza wanted to do was relax at home. She wished that Roy could be here with them, but things were particularly tense right now. He even thought that he was being watched, in case they might find him slipping up with her, probably under Moore's commands. The man was persistent in trying to ruin Roy, if nothing else. All of which meant that Riza picked up her son from daycare and went home alone.

Once at home, Riza set about unwinding. Aidan was limp as a noodle against her chest, having fallen asleep during the car ride home. Despite having slept during nap time, he managed to do so again. The boy was as bad as Roy when it came to sleeping during the day and at random times. Nonetheless, Riza was grateful, as it allowed her a bit of time to herself. Being a single parent was all-consuming, even if Aidan could be more independent than most his age. She laid him down in his bed and tiptoed silently out of the room.

With her son taken care of, Riza gathered a change of clothes and slipped into the bathroom. She turned on the shower and stripped out of her uniform, feeling like she could breathe again as steam slowly began to fog the room. Nothing like a hot shower after a troublesome work day. The hot water soothed the knots in her muscles as she let it stream over her, like it was washing all of her problems away. She kept her eyes closed and breathed deeply, feeling herself relax with every passing second.

As much as she enjoyed the hot shower though, it didn't last long. She'd learned not to take long in the shower during her time at the Academy, even more so once she was shipped off to Ishval and sometimes didn't have the time or means to shower for longer than a minute. She could enjoy them more these days, but unless there was something to occupy her, she kept her time in the shower efficient. Now that she had a little one in the house, she showered even quicker so that she didn't leave him unattended for too long.

Feeling appropriately satisfied, Riza turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around body and using another to dry her hair. She rubbed at her face and then picked up a hair dryer to start working on it. She was only a few seconds into drying her hair when she felt a tug on her towel and nearly dropped the dryer into the sink.

When she turned it off and looked down, Riza found her son staring up at her with attentive eyes. If not for his hair mussed more than usual, one would've thought that he hadn't just been knocked out. One hand still was on her towel as he held his other at his mouth, not biting at his nails but holding them with his teeth. He did that sometimes when he was thinking.

"Aidan," Riza sighed as she set down the hair dryer, "you know you're supposed to knock on the door if I'm in the bathroom. This is a private room."

Normally, Aidan was exceptional at following the rules, especially concerning privacy. He was quite good at keeping secrets too, though it wasn't fair of her and Roy to expect it of him. Riza thought for sure that Aidan would be the unintentional source of the leak about the truth, but he stuck to the rules and game that she'd constructed for him about Roy, perhaps too well for her liking to be honest. Every now and then though, he ignored other rules and acted like he didn't remember, like he was acting out in some way. She couldn't tell, but didn't get mad at him for it. He was a child and they were asking him to keep adult secrets.

At first, Aidan didn't respond to her, which was unusual. He might remain quiet and be shy around other people when they tried to speak to him, but he was never like that with her. Besides, he usually tried to talk his way out of things and make up excuses if he thought he was in trouble. Instead, he stared up at her, a confused look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Riza asked, bending down to his level.

Aidan pointed at her. "Why did someone color on your back?"

Even though it was such an innocent question in his mind and he said it in the most innocent way, Riza's face paled slightly. She worked so hard to keep her back hidden from sight to the point where less than a handful of people had seen it, two of them long dead and only one living person to have seen it in its entirety. Even when she showered in the barracks at the Academy or in the unforgiving desert of Ishval, she was careful avoid prying eyes. It was a different story when she was at home. She could relax and not worry about anyone seeing the transmutation on her back.

Honestly, in the three years since Aidan had been born, Riza hadn't thought about him seeing it.

"It's…"

Riza didn't know what to say. She was so good at keeping secrets and lying by omission, but she did not like to lie to Aidan. She had to lie to the world, but she refused to lie to him. If he asked her a question, she did her best to answer him honestly. She was relieved when he didn't ask her why he couldn't call Roy his father or dad because she didn't know what to tell him if he did. This though was something else entirely. This secret held horrors and truths that were beyond comprehensible, especially for a three year-old mind.

"It's a tattoo," Riza settled on saying, a truth if not a very detailed one. Lying by omission it was then. She could be honest with him, just not to the full extent. "Some people get pictures drawn on their skin."

"Can you erase it?" Aidan asked curiously.

Such a simple question broke Riza's heart a little. If only it could be erased. That would've made things so much easier for her. It would've made it less painful for Roy. Instead, they had been forced to come up with another way to erase it, marring her body with his flames. "No, but you can cover it up."

"Did it hurt?"

"Yes," Riza answered plainly. A tingle ran down her spine, a faint memory of the tattoo pen bearing down on her back, pricking at her soul, her lips trembling as tears spilled down her cheeks, like her skin was on fire. It was always on fire and in her dreams, the flames slicing through her, marking her as its own.

"Why would you get a picture drawn on you if it hurts?"

Because when your father asked you if you want to help him with his alchemy research and he never asked you to be involved in his work before, because he hadn't shown the slightest interest in you for years, because you were so happy to be a part of something so important and bigger than you, because you loved him and you wanted to be a good daughter, because you were eager and young and foolish with so many dreams - you didn't say no, not even after the pain and blood and nights spent crying and how utterly alone you felt.

Roy would never ask such a horrible thing of his son, but then, they were asking Aidan to lie for them. They were asking him to keep their secrets, just as Riza's father asked of her. The thought made Riza's stomach turn and she almost got sick.

"People do strange things sometimes," Riza told him, willing herself to be stronger.

The answer didn't seem to appease him as a troubled look crossed his face, but Aidan didn't push it and she was almost ashamed of the relief that flooded her body. "Can I see it?" he asked instead.

Riza bit her lip as she mulled over the question. Could he see it? The most important parts of the transmutation were lost, buried under scar tissue, and it wasn't as if Aidan would even be able to comprehend what it is. There was a chance that he might recognize it as alchemy, but he wouldn't be able to understand it. Aidan wasn't a threat whatsoever and yet Riza had been guarding her back for so long that it was hard for her to bare herself open even to the boy she had been given birth to. This secret is hers to die with one day.

"I promise not to tell," Aidan said abruptly, as if he could read her mind. Like it would be their secret. They had so many secrets with each other already.

Though she was incredibly modest and shy, Riza had given birth to him and so it was easier to be open with him. Besides, he was three years-old. The chances of him remembering any of this beyond an incredibly foggy memory was slim. Either this day would be lost as he got older or he might think it even a dream. She nodded her head and sat on her knees, moving the towel around and slightly down so that half of her back was bare to him. Riza felt her son's sharp eyes on her, distantly reminding her of the way it felt when Roy stared at her back for the first time. Careful, intense, confused, awed, and even scared. Only the anger wasn't there.

Aidan didn't get angry at his father like Roy had gotten with hers. Riza was terrified that Aidan might one day be if he were to ever find out certain truths. He was very protective of her, even at such a young age.

"It's big and pretty." Such a child-like thing to say almost made Riza chuckle. And then Aidan said something that almost made her heart stop. "It looks like Mustang's gloves."

Of course there were symbols on her tattoo that were also stitched onto Roy's ignition gloves. Countless of sleepless nights had occurred in order to find the right transition from her tattoo to gloves. It had been extraordinarily difficult, but brilliant as he was, he had cracked the code. Riza had not expected Aidan to make the connection, but then he did have a habit of being fixated on Roy's gloves.

"I thought you said you can't erase tattoos? But someone erased parts of it." Without warning, Aidan's voice became distraught, like he saw something that he didn't understand and it upset him. He didn't know what the burn marks were. To him, it looked like someone had taken an eraser to her back and rubbed it raw until parts of the tattoo disappeared. In a way, they had. Roy was incredibly careful with his fire when around Aidan. He had never seen a burnmark before until now. "It looks like big, weird scratches."

Riza could tell from his voice that he was confused, but even more so, he was afraid. She covered her back again and moved around so that she could face him. Immediately he reached out for her and she pulled him into a hug, resting her chin on top of his head. Confused and scared meant upset. His mind was trying to find an explanation for something he didn't have words for yet and though he didn't understand it he somehow knew that the strange marks on her back covering her tattoo were bad.

"Why did someone scratch you? That's mean." Aidan's voice was so tiny. Riza could've had a thousand years to come up with an answer and it still wouldn't be enough time. "Does it hurt?"

"No, it doesn't hurt, not anymore."

"But it did?"

Riza took a deep breath. "Yes."

For a while, Aidan was quiet, clinging to her as he lost himself to his thoughts. He did that every now and then. If she asked him, he would tell her what he was thinking. With others, he was disquieting and difficult to draw an answer out of. Even Havoc, whom he adored, had trouble with him sometimes. But she liked to wait for him to tell her in his own time. She didn't want him to feel pressured or rushed.

And then, out of nowhere: "I'm sorry."

Pulling away slightly, Riza looked down him. "What?"

"I'm sorry someone hurt you," Aidan repeated, looking her in the eyes. There was a film of tears in his dark eyes, but they didn't spill. He didn't cry very often. She didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

Riza smiled a little and kissed him on the crown of his head. "It's okay now. It was a long time ago. It doesn't hurt."

"I won't hurt you," Aidan promised her firmly.

This time, Riza did chuckle at his insistence. "I know."

"Mustang won't either," Aidan added. "He says that he loves you and you don't hurt people that you love."

Riza could not stop the tears if she tried, so instead she pulled Aidan into another hug and held him close so that he wouldn't be able to see them. "That's right." There were times when it seemed that she had only been hurt by the people she loved, even when they didn't mean it. This was one secret that she hoped to keep from him for as long as he lived. She could not burden him with that horrible truth as well. She didn't mind keeping that from him.


End file.
